This mosaic of my eccentric tweets and observations is published in the “Аbout Reality“ menu… It will stay there till… winter comes to town.

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I see autumn in the rain of your teardrops… I am an architect ///

(please cry here >>)

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~November

…about music

If architecture is a frozen music why don’t you dance?

If architecture is a frozen music then avant-garde projects are a cacophony.

If architecture is a frozen music then modern buildings are a monotonous noise.

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• I decapitated a flawless structure of the French patisserie by eating that cherry from the top.
  

• Guillotine is a perfect architectural project in which Form & Function are in an absolute harmony…

• In some countries they chop off thief’s hand. This is fine by me. But what about the intellectual property thieves? Following this logic we should behead them…

• Capital punishment should be kept for Nazi criminals and plagiarists.

…and that’s what I really think about plagiaristic pigs >>

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~October

• October 4… Nobody has congratulated me with the World Architecture Day.
  

• October 5… Steve Jobs died. Eve, Isaac Newton, Steve Jobs – your apples have changed our world. iSad
  

• October 10… Yesterday died Che and Lennon was born… Dreamers…

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…about the profession

Architect is not a profession. It’s a mania.

Many people justify architects’ low income by a funny argument: “…on a plus side our profession is so interesting.” First of all, any profession is interesting. Objectively it would be wrong to assume that architecture is more interesting than a forex trading, medicine or a plumbing. Architecture is interesting for the professional architects. Subjectively. Secondly, why architect can’t make money by doing an “interesting job” only? Go tell a lawyer or a doctor that beyond their main job, they should get a “side project” after work. They will not understand what the heck are you talking about. While architect, in any country, knows exactly what’s your point. (You can see my point here >>)

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~September

• Many architects instead of the calculated sum are placing on the Fee Proposal: Fuck me

• You can’t be rich by being an architect. But the chances to be happy are pretty high.

• Form? Function? Fuck! FINANCES!.

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… about a non-existent dilemma

There is a famous dilemma in Architecture, so called “triple F” issue… It sounds something like that: “FormFollowsFunctionFollowsFormFollowsFunctionFollowsForm…” You got the idea. Many smart people have debated “what follows what”. I was also trying to “clarify” the point. I have even written an essay with the freakishly sophisticated title “Form & Function: Degradation of the Dilemma” (Gosh, I’m such a smart ass.) But here’s the thing. There is no such dilemma nowadays. ‘Cause there’s another “F” – Finances. That’s the most important Feature. The rest just follows it.

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I am tired of fighting the thieves. I am an architect not a detective… and poetry is much closer to me than a journalistic investigation. So let’s forget about the politics and the plagiarism… and let’s have a pure architectural fun. Here’s my little Twitter poem…

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Anatomy of Architecture

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I see lie in the radius of your smile… I am an architect. )

I see sadness in the angle of the raised eyebrows… I am an architect.  / \

I see intellect in the slope of a forehead… I am an architect.  /

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***

I see shame in the bend of your spine… I am an architect.  (

I see pain in the turn of your neck… I am an architect.  J

I see fury in the squares of your fists… I am an architect.  [ ] [ ]

I see evil in the zigzag of your twisted arms… I am an architect.  Z

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***

I see tenderness in the curve of your wrist… I am an architect.  ~

I see passion in the arch of your hips. … I am an architect.  ( )

I see love in the triangle of your mons pubis… I am an architect.   \/

I see harmony in the circle of your eye… I am an architect.   O

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***

I see wisdom in the grid of your wrinkles… I am an architect.  #

I see dream in the dash-lines of your eyelashes… I am an architect.   ||||  ||||

I see death in the trajectory of your fall… I am an architect.  _____

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In the ideal geometry of your body I see an Architect… I am God. ∞

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This series of poetic tweets I have written during the last few weeks when I went through the very difficult period in my life… Some private issues that have nothing to do with the architecture. And as my situation was growing tougher the tweets were becoming more elegant…  Bizarre isn’t it?

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“Plagiarisms is a plague” | @architecturally

“Whole world does not cost one tear of child” | Dostoevsky

Architecture is the only art where plagiarism is partially acceptable. It’s a known paradox… Yet such paradox cannot be applied to the literature (blogging, journalism, books) about the architecture. Moreover, plagiarism in literature is the most hideous form of plagiarism… which is pretty close to the criminal offense called thievery. That’s why there are intellectual property laws and copyright. Unfortunately those laws are rarely working. Especially for the little authors called bloggers. We don’t have time and money to fight with the bastards that steal our content and our ideas in court… But we can make the bastards “famous”.

There are 3 types of plagiarists.

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 1. RATS

Rats are ugly little creatures… kinda small thieves. Even though rats are not huge monsters they are mean. Usually rat stupidly copies your essay to her stinky blog. Sometimes rat makes some tiny changes to your text and it ruins the harmony of your ideas. Sometimes rat puts up her own illustrations and it destroys your content. Sometimes rat can even give you a credit by mentioning your name in an ultra-fine print. Yet rat will never inform you about the “borrowing” of your essay and will never ask your permission for the publication. This type of plagiarist usually lives in “LiveJournal” (it’s an outdated blogging platform which is still hugely popular in the former USSR countries. I know it, since I run my blog in English and Russian). Very often you can easily scare the rat by a simple e-mail. So the creature will run away covering up the tracks (i.e. deleting the stolen publication). Occasionally you might face a nasty fat rat that won’t go away but will hiss at you back (sending you replies full of dirty personal insults). Such rat will not remove your text. Don’t bother to fight. Remember: “One should not stir the shit as it will be even more stinking.”

Rats are typical for the Russian-speaking internet, which is a pretty big market…

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 2. JACKALS

Jackals are insidious and dangerous. As an opposite of rats jackals are very advanced online players that are watching your publications. They scrupulously check your traffic and follow your tweets. They watch your every step on the web. And then they strike. They publish their stuff on their sites and it looks so original… except ideologically and stylishly it is based entirely on your thoughts, your manner, and your spirit. It’s hard to catch them… At times jackals might make a mistake and to post a direct quotation from your essay. But it happens rarely… Jackals are careful. Thus you don’t see them as often as rats. Yet being sleazy creatures jackals are way creepier… Some famous blogger or even a celebrity could be a jackal. Jackals are bigger and stronger than their victims; therefore to fight them makes no sense. You can write them a direct message… but it won’t help. They might even produce a polite answer. By analyzing their calculated reply you will understand – your assumptions are true, the jackal really plagiarizes you. But that’s all. There’s nothing else you can do. So try to become an advanced online player by yourself. (I have my own jackal. Funny but his name also starts with “J”… and I know he reads it now.)

Jackals are typical for the English-speaking internet.

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 3. DOGS

Dogs are an international phenomenon. This type of plagiarism is typical for every language.

Dogs are the most powerful and cruel type of plagiarists. Let me warn you: there’s no point in fighting them (It’s like pissing against the wind – excuse my French). Yes, sometimes David beats Goliath… Unfortunately it happens mostly in the Biblical stories…. So “Dogs” are the most influential websites that plagiarize content of the small individual authors without any permission. Usually such sites are specialized internet portals…. Stop! Before I continue allow me a little sentiment.

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As you can see I haven’t provided any names in the first two parts. Trust me I do have real names and facts. And I am upset about the plagiarists on a personal level. Yet I’m not about to discuss here my emotions. I’m writing this not for some infantile personal revenge. I write this because… first of all I enjoy writing, I like to write my thoughts down… and secondly, based on my sad experience I find the topic of plagiarism quite important for the public. The third topic is a critical one, since the major internet portals are read by the millions of people. Ergo this is not about my ego, but about a public interest. So, I’m going tо name a couple of “dogs”.

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So back to the “dogs”… sorry , back to the internet portals that plagiarize bloggers.

Archdaily.com is one of the largest English language portals dedicated to architecture. It’s an architectural McDonald’s that pushes any kind of info related to the architectural projects. ArchDaily doesn’t give a crap about the quality of it’s content. This internet Goliath is all about quantity. Recently the “goliath” got caught on an obvious plagiarism by the blogger, whose content was shamelessly stolen. Archdaily’s writer has plagiarized the material openly. In a “rat-style”. It’s quite unusual for the dogs. It has resulted in a massive scandal that was reported by the site with the very symbolical name “Stinky Journalism”. The funny thing is that the blogger whose essay was plagiarized happened to be an editor of “Architectural Record” Jenna M. McNight. Oops! Jenna has published a powerful message to the plagiarists. “Architectural Record” stopped syndication of the materials from ArchDaily. (Nice!)… And ArchDaily… got scared! After few days of the gutless silence ArchDaily’s Executive Editor David Basulto has published an apology in which he accepted the fact of plagiarism. Not bad… but! There were few very interesting comments as a reaction to the Basulto’s apology. In those comments bloggers have accused ArchDaily in other cases of plagiarism. Their comments were quickly removed from the site and all you can see now in the “Comments” section are just some fake panegyrics. Archdaily kept cheating immediately after posting an apology. Put it briefly – Tricksters!

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Stinky journalism of Archdaily looks relatively well-mannered compare to the shameless thievery by the Russian architectural portal Archi.ru. The portal openly plagiarizes articles and news from the Western media, without any mentioning of the source. The translation is poor and unprofessional, therefore many vital architectural issues are distorted and Russian architects do not get a full picture.* The stolen materials Archi.ru publishes anonymously with some weird initials. It’s a classical trolling. Perhaps Russian portal believes that their educational goals justify dirty plagiaristic means. Sorry, but Russians are not right. I would suggest to the Russian plagiarists from Archi.ru to read Dostoyevsky: “Whole world does not cost one tear of child”.

But what “tear of child” are we talking about in the world of stinky journalism, stolen ideas and cheap plagiarism?!

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Epilogue

Here comes the twist. Tricksters of ArchDaily are a bit more decent (if we can use word “decent”) than the thieves from the Russian portal Archi.ru. Archdaily “authors” sign the articles with their full names. Do you want to know the name of the person who’s plagiarized Jenna McNight’s article? Her name is… Irina Vinnitskaya. A Russian name! Maybe now Miss Vinitskaya can work for Archi.ru… Her English is really good.

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P.S. Some time ago I had a brief private online discussion about plagiarism with Bob Borson. Bob is probably one of the most interesting and original architectural bloggers in the U.S. He’s wise and intelligent person. I would like to recommend you his essay “Ownership & Plagiarism”   I just hope Archi.ru will not steal it now.

P.P.S I dedicate this essay to my J…

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*My passage about Archi.ru is not some baseless accusations. Recently I’ve published a special post on my Russian lang. version www.ArchiAlternative.ru. It included a detailed textual analysis of Archi.ru’s new article along with the direct reply from Chief Editor Mr. Khretchko, in which he basically confirms the fact of plagiarism yet refuses to take any responsibility. If you know Russian you can check the link. (I haven’t posted it in English since those “local issues” are not very relevant for the English-speaking readers.)

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This is MADness. | King Leonidas, “300” the movie

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I’ve already shared my vision about an internet as a world wide junkyard full of surprises… So I found another pearl amidst billions of fakes. This piece is amazing from any angle. The cinematography of the video is breathtaking. The philosophical allegory between the horse and the building is impeccable. And the architecture is… o my God! …I’ll say it… the architecture is divine!

I also thought to myself about a bizarre thing called unappreciation. This beauty is designed by the young Chinese architect in the Inner Mongolia region. If it would be done by some fancy starchitect in Europe or US the media would be all over the place praising the greatness of the maestro. And here… here is nothing… 30 “likes” on the Vimeo board. I am sure that if it would be Zaha or Libeskind it would get 30 thousand “likes”.

Unfortunately our world is not a very fair-minded place. And for many people a brand name attached to the project matters more than the project itself.  Well… not to me.

Enough words. Some emotions you cannot describe. So just relax and watch. It’s hypnotizing. If you watch it for the first time – I envy you.

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Ordos Museum, by ‘MAD architects’, Beijing

Description of the project as provided by the authors on Vimeo Channel

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Located in Ordos, Inner Mongolia, the Art and City Museum is a crossroads for a community working to interpret its local traditions in a new urban context.

Commissioned by the Municipal Government of Ordos in 2005 after the urban master plan for a new metropolis on the plains was drawn, but not yet constructed, MAD envisioned a futuristic dome to protect the cultural history of the region and refute the reality of the rational new city outside.

The completion of the museum offers a moment of pause in a city which has seen no end to construction. In this vital space where the past and the contemporary are joined, people can meet with art and with each other, giving new spirit to this young community.

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Steve Jobs has passed away. I’m an architect so I have built a Twitter tribute for a genius. And I used your amazing tweets as stones to Steve’s monument. Thank you. ~ @architecturally
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All these tweets are real. Coming from the real people. Here’s a proof  with dates and times >>    iSAD Tribute on STORYFY.COM   (It looks fantastic… Take a look, don’t be shy)

• I AM CRYING
  

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   architecturally

Socrates, Plato, Rene Descartes, Leonardo da Vinci, Galileo Galilei, Albert Einstein, Steve Jobs…

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   thehighsign

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• GADGETS ARE CRYING
  

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  darrenrovell

RIP Steve Jobs. You left your mark on our desks, on our ears & in our hands.

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   NiceCupOJoe

RIP Steve Jobs. -Sent from my iPhone

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   Mam_Charo

Steve Jobs touched our lives in no dead pixel. RIP Steve Jobs.

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   philiplaureano

RIP Steve Jobs. You definitely made a dent in the universe, and your contributions to technology will be remembered for centuries.

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   MaryCherry_LV

RIP Steve Jobs…. † #Apple #Pixar #Cofounderofeveryothergadgetwelove

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   TNLNYC

It’s the end of an era  #rip

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    jessicatyler16

RIP Steve Jobs – thanks for connecting the world

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  MrMarcusX

Just saw my iPhone shed a tear…RIP Steve Jobs…genius!

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• PEOPLE ARE CRYING

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   dannydiggz

Wow is all I can say… RIP Steve Jobs… Taking a moment of silence and thanking this man to myself. You should do so also!

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   frascafrasca

Not sure who invented the guitar or the piano but the guy who created my instrument just died and I can’t stop crying #ThankYouSteve

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   pollyanna_y

Where can I get an app for fighting back tears at work? #iSad

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   GerryDuggan

RIP Steve Jobs. My son is growing up in the future that he helped to create.

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   chillAF

If it wasn’t for steve, their wouldn’t be a definition for our generation. #ThankYouSteve

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   kelseyyy44

possibly the worst news ever. /: but #thankyousteve

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   ayumiishida_

#ThankYouSteve You’re the best ever.

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   ysabelbianca

Never met the guy but he made my life easier.  #stevejobs #thankyousteve

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   _JustAMan

#iSad cause i don’t know what to do

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   The_godpapa

#iSad, I swear I am.

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   Sammy2601

#iSad I truly am…

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   dbrillz

Jobs is dead leaving one last product for us all, the #iSad #RIP

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   thumpf

#ThankYouSteve for crushing music and film retailers

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   CarlosMingeli

#ThankYouSteve for allowing 1,000′s of independent artists like me sell my music on #itunes

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   NikeTys0n

All the other black dudes have Tupac, Biggie, & Jay-Z on their black tees. I’ll have Steve Jobs on mine #ThankYouSteve

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   TheDebbyRyan

RIP Steve Jobs. you da man. you still da man. iMan. #SteveJobs #RestInPeace

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   parkhere

Here’s to the crazy ones. The rebels. The troublemakers. The ones who see differently. #iSad

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   cjb2m5

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Not Steve Jobs! #iSad

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• COUNTRIES ARE CRYING
  

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   KarenCivil

The Apple of America’s Eye. You’ll be missed. RIP Steve Jobs.

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   edwardboches

I think America should lower all flags to half mast. #iSad

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   Miss_Diddy

#iSad the whole world is sad.

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• GODS ARE CRYING
  

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   estebanbullrich

God greeted Steve Jobs:”Since Adam & Eve nobody changed the world so much with just an apple, come & tell me how you did it” #thankyousteve

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   HausOfKody

I’m convinced there is no god. But I hope there’s a heaven, if only for Steve. #ThankYouSteve

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   OhThatsDeep

“I want to put a ding in the universe.” #ThankYouSteve

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   LopezJerry

Steve Jobs is gone to the iClouds #iheaven

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   TweakerTweets

Let’s give Steve Jobs 3 months and I bet we are able to text people in heaven directly. RIP Steve Jobs

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   CharlieRice

RIP #SteveJobs We’re all waiting for the new #iHeaven

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I want to finish on this note…

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   maria_ressa

Incredible how Twitter unites us in celebrating one man’s life and recognizing our own mortality. #iSad

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“Stay hungry. Stay foolish.”  ~Steven Jobs 1955 – 2011

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Again… to see real tweets neatly organized  click here.  It’s very cool and totally worth it.

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“I fear I am not in my perfect mind.”
William Shakespeare, King Lear, 4.7.63

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Last year I have praised Zaha Hadid with her first Stirling Prize in my emotional essay “Zaha”. Her winning project of MAXXI Museum in Rome was a great example of a unique and intellectual architecture. She deserved the Prize big time, even though the decision was a bit political. It became obvious as 2 weeks later RIBA’s Gold Medal was awarded to David Chipperfield who was Zaha’s main contender for the Stirling.

Regardless of those political games (I wrote about it extensively here) I would like to emphasize Zaha’s win in 2010 was beyond any doubts. She was simply the best.

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In my view, RIBA Stirling Prize Shortlist of 2011 was way more impressive than last year. In alphabetical order:

• An Gaelaras (Irish Cultural Centre), by O’Donnell and Tuomey  [ Photos + Description  >> ]
• Evelyn Grace Academy (Educational), by Zaha Hadid Architects  [ Photos + Description  >> ]
• Folkwang Museum (Extension) by David Chipperfield Architects  [ Photos + Description  >> ]
• London 2012 Velodrome (A Sport Venue) by Hopkins Architects   [ Photos + Description  >> ]
• Royal Shakespeare Theater (New Stage), Bennetts Associates Architects.[ Photos + Description  >> ]
• The Angel Building (Commercial Complex) by AHMM   [ Photos + Description  >> ]

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Frankly I thought that Hadid and Chipperfield were included as a gesture of a formal respect to the great masters. To me their works of this year were weak. If you can use word weak for projects of these starchitects… But everything is relative. So when I say weak I mean it was weak in comparison with the other contestants. In addition to that I kept in mind a political balance that architectural bureaucrats like to maintain. And since Zaha and Chipperfield got already awarded last year their chances in 2011 would be really close to zero.

Giving all that, when I saw the news that Zaha has won the Stirling Prize again I was utterly surprised. Apparently I wasn’t alone. The controversial comments from very prominent figures have been published all over the web immediately upon the news release of Zaha’s second in a row Stirling Prize win.

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Architect’s Journal teaser said:

“The decision to give this year’s Stirling Prize to Zaha Hadid’s Evelyn Grace Academy is met by shock, surprise and even anger…”

Wow! Polite Brits have thrown away their bloody political correctness and have spoken openly about their disappointment with the choice of the winner. Architects and officials have blasted the project from any possible angle. I’m not going to post those combative quotes to impress you. You can read it in full from the source here >>

Yet again you can find a lot of politics in critics’ reaction. To me this is very simple: Zaha’s project was not the best in terms of the architectural integrity. Yes, this is another iconic building with the super-budget. Yes, this is another style/ego-driven project. And yes this is all very impressive. But architecture is not only about impressions, iconic look and egotistical ambitions.

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Architecture is also about historic romanticism and delicate design like in the Royal Shakespeare Theater.

Architecture is also about sophisticated simplicity and mystique atmosphere as in An Gaelaras.

Architecture is also about modern technical solutions & wise choice of materials like in London Velodrome.

Architecture is also about smart and daring architectonic reinvention like in The Angel Building.

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Architecture is not about fancy name and powerful PR.

Sorry Zaha. Sorry David. But your less famous colleagues were just better this year.

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P.S. If I would be a judge I’d pick a Royal Shakespeare Theater. It’s probably the most complex and the least pretentious project out of all 6 contenders. And the most romantic one. But hey, who cares about the romanticism and professionalism in today’s world of political games? Tell me I am wrong!

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Royal Shakespeare Theater | Bennetts Associates Architects

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You’re not a star until they can spell your name in Karachi. | Humphrey Bogart

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To be a STARchitect you must follow few authoritarian guidelines. All those talks about creative spirit and free style are a total nonsense. An absolute discipline coupled with a strict uniform is a necessary condition to succeed. Oh… if you design cool projects it might help as well. Yet the look always comes first. And here are 10 ultimate proofs… (Click on the images to enlarge. Don’t be shy. The devil is always in the details)

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 1.   COLOR. We all know The Color. This is the only color acceptable in architectural universe.

1-Philp Johnson; 2-Tadao Ando; 3-Jean Nouvel; 4-Daniel Libeskind (Nationality doesn’t matter – Color rules!)

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2.   TIE. No tie whatsoever. If you wear a tie you are so old-fashioned. Yes Corbu and Philip Johnson sometimes were breaking a “no-tie” taboo, but first of all it was like a hundred years ago, and then Corbu had a bow-tie. That’s a completely different story. Now… Philip Johnson was actually wearing a regular tie but as you can see he has changed his mind about it later…

1-Koolhass; 2-Gehry; 3-Le Corbusier; 4-Philip Johnson breaks the rule; 4-b Mr. Johnson realizes his mistake

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3.   EYE-WEAR. Funky glasses with tortoiseshell or black rim. I thought it’s a stereotype but hey… look at this! Yo, Franky, what’s wrong with your rim?

 1-Le Corbusier; 2-Philip Johnson; 3-Daniel Libeskind; 4-Frank Gehry (totally misses the point)

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4.   HAIR. Grey hair is the coolest thing. It’s a classic one. Although sometimes things are going bad and you are going bold. No problem. Just make sure that whatever you have left is still grey. Now here’s the trick. If you don’t have a grey hair or you lose your hair in a not so elegant manner – shave it. Completely. Works perfectly (Trust me. I know it from my personal experience; I don’t need Jean Nouvel telling me this).

By the way bold and black is very sexy. Look at Jean…

1-Frank Gehry; 2-Peter Eisenman; 3-Herzog & de Meuron (nicely played, architects); 4-Jean Nouvel

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5.   BEARD. Pretty neat element. As long as you keep it grey of course…

1-Eduardo de Souza; 2-Peter Zuhmtor; 3-Renzo Piano. Die Santa-Claus!

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6.   SHIRT. Here you’ve got 2 very liberal choices. T-shirt (or a tirtle-neck) in the color of the architectural universe (see topic 1). Or a simple white shirt. Yes, sometimes it’s allowed. Especially for the super-events when you get a Nobel or a Pritzker Prize. Just make sure there’s no tie.  (Oh, sorry there’s no Nobel Prize in Architecture? I think it’s because we would refuse to wear a tuxedo and a tie).

1-Daniel Libeskind; 2-Frank Gehry; 3-Rem Koolhass; 4-Rem Koolhaas (preparing for Nobel Prize or what?); 5-Norman Foster; 6-Tadao Ando (very fancy indeed, who needs a tie with a shirt like this?!)

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7.    SMOKING. Yes. Allowed. But it better be a pipe or a cigar… (Well… if you are Frank Lloyd Wright you can smoke a cigarette, wear a tie and even… yes wear another color… But your hair is still perfectly grey)

1-Mies van der Rohe; 2-Eero Saarinen; 3-Frank Lloyd Wright (a father of all starchitects)

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8.  ACCESSORIES. Not necessary. But definitely helps. Hat, suspenders would be the best option. Just make sure you keep it black. Peter Eisenman went too far with that yellow-blue composition…

1-Frank Lloyd Wright; 2-Jean Nouvel; 3-Peter Eisenman (blue? yellow? WTF?)

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9.    MODEL. Must have at least one picture with a physical architectural model (I hope you still remember what it is…) Doesn’t matter that it’s irrelevant, obsolete and has nothing to do with the actual building. It demonstrates that you are artsy…

1-Santiago Calatrava; 2-Philip Johnson;  3-Le Corbusier. Model & glasses is always a cool thing

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Before we go to the last one… just press pause for a second and review the pictures. Isn’t it amazing? They really all wear black and have grey hair and hate tie… I mean maybe those stereotypes are not such stereotypes after all. There’s one more thing which is commonly shared between all starchitects. Have you noticed it? It’s not the color of their shirt or the rim of their eyewear. It’s not their hats or beards… Actually it is kinda related to their beards…

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10.    SEX. It’s gonna sound a bit sexist… But if you want to be a starchitect you better be a man. Genius Zaha is just an exclusion confirming the rule. I am sorry but this is the world we live in..

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Another extravagantly crazy architectural charts can be found  here >>

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Empires fall. Civilizations sink. Professions die. But let’s leave Atlántidas to the politicians, historicists and other prostituted types of activities. Let’s keep it professional…

Practically any profession is doomed. It doesn’t matter how practical, how important or how vital for the society that profession is. Basically any profession sooner or later will be dead. The only question is when.

In the past there were many professions that everyday life was unimaginable without… I am not talking about some exotic occupations. Those were jobs characterizing a fundamental nature of the social order.

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A blacksmith, a tinker, a toy-maker, a dairymaid, a weaver, a broom-maker…

All these amazingly useful craftsmen & women are gone. Nowadays we don’t ride horses and we’re buying “Made in China” t-shirts a bit more often than hand-weaved opera-cloaks… Today you read about these profession in Wikipedia only… Or you can go to some really cool Museums (such as Toronto Black Creek Pioneer Village where I took all these funky pictures), there you can watch a live imitation of that wonderful world of arts and crafts which is lost forever.

Whether we like it or not blacksmith can’t fix an iPad, and we clean our houses with the sophisticated machinery rather than with the broom… Times have changed.

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Why I’m telling you all these sentimental banalities (besides of my obvious desire to show-off the shots from the trip)?

Please re-read my first sentence. “Practically any profession is doomed”. I said “practically” because out of all professions there are 3 that will never die. Of course, as time goes by, their visual appearance will be different along with the technical means and methods… But the core essence will remain the same:  people always will need to be healed, taught and protected. That’s why doctors, teachers and architects are always going to be around.

Teachers, doctors and architects don’t do business. They provide humanity with the services that allow people to live regardless of the dying civilizations or falling empires. Teachers, doctors and architects guarantee continuity of the mankind, therefore a funny expression that architects are “playing Gods” isn’t so funny, actually.

You can live without an iPad or a vacuum-cleaner. You can even live without Wall Street financial system and without the oil supply from the Middle East. (I know they tell us differently. They lie! Yes, you can.) But you can’t live without a roof above your head, without being able to transfer your knowledge to your child, without good health… You can’t!

I am an architect. So I’ll speak to the architects. (Although I suspect this is somehow might be relevant for teachers and doctors as well).

Colleagues, don’t worry about the low salary, disrespect from the clients and poor business numbers. We don’t do it for fame and money. Some people are chosen to make a lot of money, another are chosen to sell crap…oops, sorry gadgets… to the masses… We are different. We have a mission. We are chosen to be Gods. It’s not easy and apparently not that profitable. Yet in return we are going to live forever. ‘Cause trust me in another 100 or so years people will read about investment-bankers, IT-programmers and i-Pad makers in Wikipedia only… If there will be a Wikipedia.

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James Weldon Johnson

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First some obvious practical things:

1.  Old Testament, New Testament, Qur’an are great descriptive materials. Very detailed schedules. But where are the actual working drawings of the world? I heard that God is in details. Where are those “Details” sheets?

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2.  7 days of creation is a completely unrealistic deadline. Even for such a lousy project as our world… (not having working drawings makes it even less possible)

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There are few commandments that don’t quite fit modern architects views:

3. “You shall have no other gods before me.” 

Wait a second! And what about my clients?… Yes, modern architect is that pathetic.

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4.  “…Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is the Sabbath of the Lord your God. In it you shall do no work…”

6 days a week only? Sorry I can’t… I wish there would be 8 days a week, so I can satisfy my gods… oops! … I mean my clients.

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Let’s go deep back in time

5.  There were tons of Gods and Goddesses in the antique Greece and Rome. Yet Greeks and Romans didn’t even bother to provide a separate God or a Goddess for Architecture. They had Hestia (Vesta for Romans) some second rated Goddess of the hearth and home which incidentally played a role of a Goddess of architecture. That’s all.

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6.  Do you think in the other places the situation was different? Say Hinduism…

The closest God for architects would be a guy called Vishwakarma.  “Vishwakarma is the presiding deity of all craftsmen. Son of Brahma, he is the divine draftsman of the whole universe, and the official builder of all the gods’ palaces. Vishwakarma is also the designer of all the flying chariots of the gods, and all their weapons.” The Mahabharata describes him as “The lord of the arts, executor of a thousand handicrafts, the carpenter of the gods, the most eminent of artisans, the fashioner of all ornaments … and a great and immortal god.” He has four hands, wears a crown, loads of gold jewelry, and holds a water-pot, a book, a noose and craftsman’s tools in his hands.

Now… do you see a word “architect” in those lengthy and detailed descriptions of the “designer of flying chariots”? Not a single reminder! Everyone is mentioned, even the draftsmen, but architects are not on the list… WTF!

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7.  How about more exotic religions?  Well… their lists of Gods and Goddesses don’t even mention architecture… The situation is typical for Chinese, Scandinavian and Celtics.

They have a wild range of Gods and Goddesses:

• Latis – Goddess of Water and Beer,

• Ull – God of archery and skiing,

• P’an-Chin-Lien – Goddess of Prostitutes

… but not a single tiny God for Architects!

Wait…

Egyptians had Amenhotep – God of Architecture, Buildings and Construction Work… Well at least something… See! that’s why they have Pyramids…

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Returning to the modern days:

8.  Today every shmuck has a chance to become an American Idol. Every weirdo plays a Judge or an Almighty Authority on a reality show (no, of course I’m not talking about Donald Trump). Everybody! Except the real gods – architects. We don’t have our own reality show. And you want me to believe in God?

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9.  Look around! See all these buildings produced by “donald trumps”? (God, I love Donald!) If God would exist no way he would let it happen!

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10.  God is constantly called an Architect… It’s his favorite nick: something like The Architect of Life or The Architect of the Universe… Architect on contrary is always playing a God. Thus it makes sense – we don’t believe in Him yet He believes in us… God, I hope so…

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Rationalism sucks. Long live paranoia! (If you disagree with me what are you doing on Twitter then?)

@architecturally

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I like Twitter. It’s a great place for paranoids to talk to themselves publicly. Actually I do this pretty often… As I said I just love it. (Have I just confessed about my complicated mental stage?…)

That’s not all. Sometimes it’s getting really wild. I am not only talking out and loud to my own self, but I am talking to… God. No kidding! It’s like a confession… besides instead of a priest I have the whole bloody world listening. Paranoids talk to God about different issues. My dramatic exclamations are usually about architecture. After all we are kind of colleagues with Him.

So I just wanted to share with you few of my delirious monologs (we call it “tweets”). I find these mini- prayers quite fascinating. Please believe me:  those are not thoughts of a drunken kid but rather a religious plea from the architect… “Drunken Twitter” is something else. If you like this one I might share with you what am I talking about after having a bottle of 21-years old Glennfiddich… Not this time though.

So let’s start. Don’t expect the standard opening of “Forgive me father, for I have sinned”. And please don’t burn me alive, I’m not Copernicus and my heresy is harmless…

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Sad angel seats on my shoulder and tells me melancholic stories…

@jesus ~ 350K followers. @justinbieber ~ 12 mil followers. So who’s exactly a God here?

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I’m a radical agnostic who’s talking to angels & who’s sad about God not having enough Twitter followers. Hello paranoia!

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God was wasted when he has created us.

Bible is just a just a descriptive document. Show me the working drawings!

Architecturally speaking God has designed a creative concept. Satan was a Project Manager in charge of the site works…

If God could use AutoCAD do you think he would create a better world?

Hey, God! It’s about time to photoshop the world…

God! Why I don’t see you in the details?

Architecturally speaking it’s either God is a crappy designer or we are just lousy end-users.

Unfortunately morons never die. They REINCARNATE.

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I hope God doesn’t hear my prayers on Twitter.

Night-night God. I hope you were listening to the colleague.

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Who needs to pray if we have Twitter… Amen.

Life is an illusion. Death is an illusion. Maybe even God is an illusion. Only Twitter is real.

Ok, religious epilepsy is over. Time to watch “House MD”…

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Lack of sense of humor is the scariest sin…

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I’m just pretending to be a stoic. Deep inside I’m an epicurean & hedonist…

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Now you understand that when I was talking about paranoia it was not an artistic hyperbola but a medical diagnose.  Unless of course you think that God was listening to me… Wasn’t He?

P.S. Please do not take offense of my views. I’m not a deeply religious person, but I believe in things like Right and Wrong, True and Lie, Dark and Light, Good and Evil written from the capital letter. I hope it doesn’t sound like Paranoia.

P.P.S.  Not so sure you will follow me on Twitter after this confession…

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People willingly believe what they want to believe.

Gaius Julius Caesar

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We never judge people by the exterior look only.

We listen to their talks, we watch their behavior, we analyze their moral positions.

• Then why we judge architecture by the facades only?

We don’t listen to the project’s atmosphere, we don’t watch building’s functional performance, we don’t analyze plans or details.

And yet we judge…

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We hate fake personalities.

We don’t appreciate phony manners, we don’t accept false emotions, we reject imitations and seek for the fresh new ideas.

• Then why we like those fake architectural classics?

We enjoy those phony white-plastic columns, we accept fake details, we promote cheap imitations of the pseudo-classical projects and reject an innovative architectural approach.

Don’t you find it weird?…

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We never kill old people.

We know they are weak, we understand they are not always in a perfect shape…

We realize though that beyond their poor physical conditions old people have so many things we can learn from.

• Then why we kill (destroy, demolish, flatten) old buildings?

We know the foundations might be weak, we understand the structural elements are not always in tact…

And yet we don’t realize that beyond some physical deterioration there are so many things we can learn from.

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You don’t have to be an architect to feel the architecture.

Just like there’s no necessity of being a shrink in order to figure out people.

All you need is a common sense, adequate principles and a simple understanding… that buildings… just like people have a soul.

That’s all.

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]]> http://archialternative.com/2011/07/21/people-architecture/feed/ 2 People & Architecture archialternative People & Architecture Eugenics... That's what happens when you judge people by the facade. Fake... Fake... Fake... Mother Teresa http://archialternative.com/2011/07/02/sexy-architects/ http://archialternative.com/2011/07/02/sexy-architects/#comments Sat, 02 Jul 2011 18:50:53 +0000 Albert http://archialternative.com/?p=1738 ]]>

…who cares about George Clooney when you see Michelle Pfeiffer as an architect in “One fine day”?

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Everybody knows: architects are so-o-o sexy. Ever thought why?

Are we sexy because of the funky glasses or black blazers that we supposedly wear?… That would be too shallow. Besides, I’ve already told you about architects wearing glasses, bow ties & other nonsense… | see here

Are we sexy because we are smooth talkers and can sell illusions using sketchbook and sophisticated rhetoric? Maybe. However in that case Lawyers that can easily pass a rapist for a good citizen would be sexier. While they are boring as hell with all the money they make.

Are we sexy because we keep equilibrium of the artistic soul and rational behavior? Possibly. Although there are plenty of people effectively balancing their wild imagination with the realistic approach. Computer guys (those bastards sometimes call themselves IT architects) or scientists. Yet no one thinks they are sexy. Everybody thinks they are geeky… (Call yourself architect as long as you want, you are still geeks!)

Are we sexy because we reflect self-esteem and possess a universal knowledge? Pretty close. Yet again there are other professionals with strong will power and great wisdom. Teachers. Clearly – the profession. But with all due respect go ask your girlfriend if she prefers dating a teacher?

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Demi Moore has dropped a millionaire Robert Redford for an architect Woody Harrelson in “Indecent proposal”

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So why are we sexy?

See, sexy means you translate your spiritual strength into something physically appealing. Sexy means that starting from the pure spirituality you take your partner to the very peak of that physical joy, to the peak where the mental delight and the sensual feeling become one overpowering sensation. Non-architects call such peak an orgasm. And orgasm is something you can’t live without, once you’ve experienced it.

What architect does is a constant climb to that peak. Ideas, sketches, even drawings those are spiritual encouragement. The foreplay if you wish… And then the construction process comes, rough process full of energy, struggle, fight, and sweat. We erect buildings… Call it sex.

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Wesley Snipes is working hard on the drafting table in “Jungle fever”

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That’s it?  Oh, no…

Spiritual search and those energetic activities on the site (or should I say in bed?) suppose to lead us to the orgasm… oops! sorry… to the result: a beautiful building full of light and coziness. It’s amazingly useful and yet intangibly pleasing. It has a size, but as we know size doesn’t really matter as long as the touch of the master is there… It’s alive and yet indescribable as that grandiose feeling you get once the sex is great and the spirit is there. Do you know what this is?

It’s called love. Architect makes love to the world. Act of creation is an act of love. We don’t wear fashionable glasses, we don’t sell illusions, we don’t balance, and we don’t display our knowledge. We create. And this is why we are so damn sexy.

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P.S. Writers are the only people who can compete with the architects. Ever met an architect who’s playing with the writing?

P.P.S. In 2010 a popular survey conducted by dating gurus ‘Drawing Down the Moon’ has shown that architects top the poll for the sexiest professionals beating doctors, teachers and fire-fighters to the punch.

I’m sure we would score the same result  in 1949. Look at Gary Cooper with Patricia Neal… Any doubts?

Gary Cooper as an architect in “Fountainhead” (1949)

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This piece came to me in a dream. So thank you my crazy Muse of dreams…

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What does that mean: to be an Architect? If you’re the one you should know that the real architect…

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A pocalyptically evaluates any idea, coming not from his own genius mind, as a fatal mistake

R easonably suggests that our world is ugly, since God hasn’t consulted him while designing it

C harismatically talks about an utter nonsense actively using an idiom “Fuck me!”

H ere & there this nonsense becomes a complete load of crap, yet charisma always comes first!

 I nstantaneously goes crazy when somebody doubts his Divine Origin and ability to fly

T akes seriously every tiny detail (architectural 11th commandment says: Devil is in the details)

E ats sushi with the client in a hip bar knowing that a bagel on the construction-site is way tastier

C onstantly is learning to fly trying to reach the sun yet always gets crushed by that ugly world

T ries to reach the sun again & again, ‘cause real architect lives and dies only flying high

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P.S. Of course you can replace “his” with “her”. It’s absolutely relevant for ladies as well. I just wanted to keep it super-brief. Real architect is never a “sexist”.

Listen to the lyrics… Fuck me! But it’s so magical…

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If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out? | Will Rogers

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There is always a sequel for a successful blockbuster. Of course a potentially successful blockbuster has a sequel option already built-in into its script…

As I was writing my provocative essay “Why?” (Part I) I knew it’s gonna be a bomb. I’ve touched on too many painful issues. Although strangely enough there was nothing sensational in those issues. I just asked obvious questions. Architects have known it for ages, yet no one was willing to scrutinize the absurd. It’s like everybody have my “why’s” on the tip of the tongue but never let it spill out. Anyway… my “blockbuster” got around 400 comments on LinkedIn, I got thousands of people reading my naïve questions and I even have constructed 4 cool essay from the best commentaries… (“Why? Here’s why…” Part 1; Part 2, Part3, Part 4)

And now it’s a time for that built-in long-awaited promised sequel.

WHY III or Why we don’t fight? (dramatic music plays on the background)

Architecturally speaking previous questions were like an “exterior envelope”. It was directed towards the outside world. I’ve questioned architects’ place in the society, their connections with the other professions, and their financial place in the world of modern capitalism.

Why III is different. It’s like a dark room nobody dares to enter. There might be a monster hiding inside that room. Well… let’s wake it up!

My new question is not for the “greedy” developers, not for the “stubborn” engineers, not for the “unappreciative” public. Stepping inside that room I’d like to ask you – my colleagues, you – architectural design industry insiders a very simple question… Architecture as a profession is in a disastrous shape; it is doing terribly both socially and financially; it is losing it’s charm and respect – things architects have had for the centuries; the industry is agonizing, bleeding, practically dying… We, industry insiders, know this. So here is the most logical question:

Why, on Earth, we don’t fight the disease? Why we don’t fight for our own survival, architects?

Following my first essay model, I’m not going to provide any answers or to suggest remedies. I just ask my stupid questions stating clear facts and critical observations. Nothing special. You all ask the same things; I just put it on paper.

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“Why we don’t fight?” is like a major jazz-theme, a central melody… which arises from the few separate instrumental tunes…

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Educational why (saxophone)

Our schools don’t teach how to practice the real architecture in the real world. Students are not taught how buildings are built, how business is managed, how clients are treated, how contracts are written and how job is done. As my colleague John Allsopp has put in his comment: “So many of our architecture schools spit out a load of blob-makers and promote the kind of mentality of fake celebrity that you get with reality tv … so on day one they are useless, and in an economic environment like this they are screwed.” Are we not aware of that army of brainless “blob-makers”? And why we keep promoting this idiocy by publishing unworkable shallow “cool” renderings from starchitects in our professional media? Why we don’t reform our educational system, why don’t we change the obsolete academic programs, why we keep screwing the next generation of  architects?

Why we don’t fight for our schools and students?

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Organizational why (drums)

Our organizations don’t even try to promote our professional interests anymore. Our organizations are not involved in the tough realities of the small architectural practices. Our organizations neither fight for the rights of the regular employees nor protect architects from the aggressive claims by the powerful clients. Typical arch. organization nowadays has a clear parasitic nature. It’s a Kafkian labyrinth, a monstrous bureaucratic machine; it’s a vampire whose sole existence is to suck blood. We know about a complete impotency of our professional structures. So why we don’t dismantle those useless institutions, why we keep paying those ridiculously high membership fees, why we spent years for expensive absolutely worthless exams that give us nothing, but piece of paper called license?

Architectural organizations are built on the isolationist WASP principles of the 19^th century… Why we maintain those non-transparent, segregated, irrelevant closed “clubs” for fat old (should I say white Anglo-Saxon?) boys? Architecture is not about golfing with the client anymore! Why don’t we create 21^st century institutions answering to the challenges of the modern markets? Why we don’t organize real lobbies or influential groups that instead of collecting money from the architects for moronic paperwork would protect architectural employees, designers, technologists, drafters, renderers, students?

Why we don’t fight for our rights? Fuck golfing!

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Financial why (bass)

Whether we like it or not today it’s all about money. It’s not about how talented, how hard-working, how productive or useful for society you are. It’s about “how much you make”. In such “healthy” environment tons of worthless industries have had a huge success in establishing a very high level of income for it’s “professionals”. Investment bankers, stock traders, divorce lawyers, plastic surgeons – all those pseudo-specialists thrive with no major intellectual or industrial contribution to the world. They all sell air for big bucks!

On the other hand take architecture. Not only architects provide necessary shelter for every living soul, not only we create specific conditions for every human activity. We encourage the progress by exploring new technologies and by establishing new ways of human interaction. Architects objectively bring an enormous material value to the basic existence and proper functioning of the human society.

So why in this cruel and materialistic world we don’t fight to be appreciated accordingly?  By appreciated I mean paid. In cold cash.

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Philosophical why (piano)

We’ve been here for ages. Just like other respectable professions such as prostitution and politics. Things are going great for them though. Politicians and prostitutes are organized and powerful as never before. While architects… well… if things keep going for us as it’s going right now… architect as a biological (sorry professional) class might be exterminated very soon. Nobody has cancelled yet the basic Law of Nature “Survival of the Fittest”. So let’s get our act together, architects and fit. And in order to fit we need to fight. To fight our own monsters. We are cool, smart, hard-working, good-looking, healthy creatures. We are just not destined to die yet…

And one more thing… in case my previous rational reasons don’t work. Architect is the only profession directly associated with an absolute power of Creation. With metaphysics of God.

So why, why being born as Creators we have become slaves?

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P.S. I know you are so tired of my endless questioning. But since you made it till the very end of my poor jazz imitation… here’s the real jazz master-piece.

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What’s your problem, sir? – asks doctor.

Everybody ignores me, – replies the patient.

The doctor turns around and yells to the receptionist: “The next one, please”

Old joke

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In my last essay I’ve congratulated architectural community with such a successful PR move as inviting U.S. President to the Pritzker Prize ceremony. I also said that overall architectural PR sucks. I repeat it: our PR sucks.  It sucks big time. It’s an epic failure. It’s a shame. It’s a sad fact affecting our profession more than we can imagine.

The confirmation of that fact came immediately upon my cheers to Obama who was supposedly attracting a public attention towards the architects. Apparently he wasn’t. I mean… of course he has attracted a public attention. But not towards the architects.

Next day after the Pritzker Prize ceremony Huffington Post – the most powerful online paper has  issued on it’s “Style” section’s front page an article. D’ you wanna know the title of the article?

Michelle Obama Bold In Blue at Pritzker Architecture Prize Event (PHOTOS)

No kidding! That’s the only thing Huff had noticed about the Architectural Nobel. Obama’s wife “bold blue”! This is not about Obama’s speech presenting the architecture as “the most democratic art”.  This is not about the white-hair masters like Eduardo Souto de Mouro and Frank Gehry attending the event. This is about “bold blue” of Michelle. Great pick, Huffington Post! I’m sure your editors know what public really wants.

The article/slide-show of the first lady in blue has generated 360 comments. The one and only comment mentioning architecture was mine.

…I wrote: It’s not about Michelle Obama’s “bold blue”. It’s about architects­. Don’t you think so?

…I got an immediate reply: It’s the style section, so I don’t think it’s inappropri­ate.

…I got pissed off & answered: Styles change, style doesn’t. Presidents’ wives come and go, architectu­re stays.

Nobody even noticed me. They kept discussing the fashion…

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Being the only reason for the event architects are still openly ignored. We are getting ignored not only by the public, but by the “doctors”, like in that stupid joke. Or in the other words by the clients… And this is what my second episode is all about.

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The only guy who can rival the U.S. President celebrity’s status is Steve Jobs. And yesterday he all of a sudden was also talking architecture. “Apple” has decided to build a new HQ, a colossal structure for 12,000 people – “the most beautiful building on Earth” as guru Jobs has referred to it. (Knowing the perfection of “Apple” products I have no doubt it will be a superior piece). So Steve Jobs made a rare public appearance in front of the Cupertino City Council. Cupertino is the city where Apple is based and where they have purchased 130 acres of land for the new campus.

Steve Jobs presents the project to the City Council. It’s a cool presentation: 21 minutes and 13 seconds long.  Jobs talks about everything: about his childhood, about the lot history, about the existing buildings, about the trees, about the Apple employees’ age and the taxes. He also talks about architects. For 3 seconds! From 3:30 to 3:33. He says: “…we have worked with the architects… with the best in the world actually…” That’s all. That’s the only time he mentions that architects are involved. No names, no details, no acknowledgements. That’s the only time you hear the word “architect”. Thank you, Steve.

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P.S. The only other celebrity that can compete with Barack Obama and Steve Jobs is Lady Gaga. Gosh, I hope she writes a song about architects… And look, she’s also very bold in blue…

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Unfortunately as a professional group architects are pretty invisible for the society. Besides couple of flamboyant architectural celebrities (so called starchitects) people know nothing about us. We are definitely not a Hollywood with its glitzy Oscar, we are light years from the flashy MTV awards… even absent-minded scientists are much more visible than us given the Nobel Prize popularity…  For Christ sake! Cooks and ballroom dancers with their stupid reality shows are way more famous than architects…

Of course we have our leaders and our prestige awards but nobody from the outside world ever heard of it. We are not on TV. Papers never publish architectural news on a front page. Websites have architecture as a sub-sub-topic under “Lifestyle” menu (this is not a joke!) Put it briefly our PR sucks, architects.

This year it was different though. From the very beginning it went to the right direction. You don’t hear me saying this too often, do you?

First… the Pritzker Prize (it’s our Nobel, in case you don’t know) was awarded to Eduardo Souto de Mouro, who’s not a trendy starchitect mingling with the fashion gurus and shady oligarchs but a real master of architecture. And then the central speech at the prize ceremony was delivered by the biggest celebrity on Earth – Barack Obama. Yes we can! Die Hollywood and eat your heart MTV!

It’s not that important how Obama got there. Obviously he has some ties with Pritzker family (he admits it in his speech) and the ceremony was held in Washington D.C., which definitely helped. But to me it doesn’t matter…

What matter is that the President of United States of America talks to the word about the architects and architecture. He quotes Frank Gehry, he mentions that his hometown Chicago is a cradle of modern skyscrapers, he analyses (no kidding!) a design solution of the stadium project in Portugal… Once in a while instead of mentioning crazy dictators and Wall Street thieves President talks about Frank Lloyd Wright, Louis Sullivan, Mies van der Rohe… Bravo Mr. President! I might not share some of your foreign or fiscal policies but your statement that “architecture can be considered the most democratic of art forms” means a lot to me. And to many other architects from around the globe.

Thank you Mr. President for putting us on the map. Even if it’s for a very brief moment… We still deserve it.

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Top 10 lies clients tell architect

…a logical sequel to my previous top-10 of architectural “lies”.

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I love the way you lie.

I love the way you lie.

Eminem ft. Rihanna

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Yes, once in a while architects tell their clients some harmless “lies”. On the other hand clients (investors, developers, builders and even officials) are constantly cheating and lying to architects about very serious issues, such as payments, deadlines, scope of work… just to name a few most “popular” themes. Often such lie is practically a fraud, maybe even a criminal act… Yet clients can afford it, as they are powerful and rich while architects/designers are poor and disorganized. So let’s see how “they” lie to “us”

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1. “It will be a beautiful project”

“The most banal, the most common, the most sincere lie.” Yes, I quote myself: the same way “our architectural lies” start… (here check the original – topic 1).

When architect says it – it sounds as a sad irony, professionals know how many obstacles are between the beautiful dream and the ugly reality. Client arrogantly lies to himself about it. And that’s what makes this self-lie super dangerous. When the ugly reality hits, client starts to blame everyone, and first of all architects, in not making “client’s wonderful dream” to come true.

I quote myself again: If your claim, Mr. Client, is true – we should be surrounded by “beautiful projects” only. The hideous buildings around us have nothing to do with the developers of course; it’s only architects’ fault…

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2. “Money is not a problem”

Sometimes clients don’t tell it during the first meeting. But sooner or later when all of the sudden their “dreams” are met with some restrictions they will drop this irresponsible line. Don’t believe it! Money is always a problem. (The most hazardous situation is when you hear it from the client’s wife while discussing her bedroom design).

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3. “This project will put you on the map”

Bullshit. Excuse my French. This project will put YOU on the map. If successful, the project will put on the map everyone, but architects. On the opening ceremony the developer will deliver the speech, the builder will get some governmental or municipal award, the interior designer will be mentioned in the glamorous magazines and architect… well architect is going to get some free finger food during that opening ceremony.

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4. “You can make money on this project”

Bullshit again. And fuck that French. YOU will make money on this project. Tons of it. As for me, I’ll be happy just to be paid on time. Based on my ridiculously low fees my only hope not to lose money on your project. To make some money? I don’t even dream about it!

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5. “You’ll get everything you need right on time”

Dirty double lie. You, architect, will NEVER get it on time. Actually you’ll get NOTHING. You’ll end up going to the engineers, to the authorities or to the land owners to get a required documentation promised by the client. Should I remind that it takes plenty of your time, dear architect, and you’ll never be paid for it. Somehow Client forgets his lie and automatically assumes that this was always your responsibility. No, it wasn’t! But I had no choice. I got a job to do!

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6. “Our marketing team will be very supportive”

A modification of the same lie we tell you. (Yes – go and see our lie number 6…) Marketing team is your watchdog, a parasite whose only purpose is to make money by any means. The most effective means usually include an immediate castration of every creative idea proposed by those moronic architects. And nobody finds it controversial to the client’s statement in topic 1 about the “beautiful project”…  Pathetic!

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7. “I am not going to be involved in your design decisions related to the esthetics “

Ha-ha-ha! Should I comment on this?… (It’s true for the first 5 seconds)

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8. “We share common interest.”

Yeah, right… My interest is to design as professionally as possible while yours is to build it as cheap as possible and to sell it as high as possible. How is it common, dear Sir/Madam?

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9. “We have a budget and we have a deadline.”

Ok, I respect this. Then why do you constantly change the budget increasing the marketing expenses and cutting on the important design issues of my job. Why do you constantly ask me to deliver the drawings prior to the deadline. You claim you need to review the drawings before the deadline. Another lie. You never do it; because once it’s reviewed you have to release the payment. I respect your budget and your timelines. So why you don’t give a shit about mine’s?

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10. “Architect is the most important person in my project.”

A deliberate lie. You, my dear client, believe that the banker who finances you is the most important guy. Or a real estate firm which is  going to market your project… Or maybe those city officials that issue the approvals. But actually this might be the only TRUE you ever said. All those officials, bankers and agents are very important people. But they simply would not exist for you without architects naïve designs and not so naïve drawings.

So why did I put it as a lie? Well… because architect is not simply “the most important person” on the project. You are wrong!

Architect is a GOD. And that’s why we are always crucified.

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P.S.  I love to conclude my “dead-serious essays” on some cool music tune. (Remember my “Why” ?). So this piece I’ll summarize with the super- hit “I love the way you lie”. Sounds good to me… See the lyrics? I guess Rihanna plays the architect’s role here, while Eminem is a client. Enjoy, yo…

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More cool top-10 charts you can see here >>

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I’d like to introduce another “killer-project”: a unique crematorium building from Kiev, Ukraine. (As you can see death theme is quite international)

I’ve stumbled upon the crematorium in one of the posts by Kiev architectural photographer Lev Shevchenko. (Lev has an excellent photo-blog dedicated to Kiev’s architecture. Unfortunately for my English-speaking readers Lev’s texts are in Russian but his images worth a thousand words).

The crematorium is a unique project. It was built in 1975. 1975! During that time the only thing that could be built in the USSR were monotonous concrete boxes, utterly primitive buildings that combined an ugliness of brutalism and Corbusian architectural ideologies. What a mix! So this is really a mystery: how such an extraordinary futuristic building could be designed and actually built in the country where any spark of talent or individualism was suppressed.

The architect of the project is Abraham Miletsky. During the Soviet years he was a pretty prominent architect in Kyiv. He has designed few more quite interesting buildings (Hotel Salute, Youth Palace) nevertheless crematorium is a real gem. In my opinion Abraham was so ahead of his time that Soviet bonzes just couldn’t comprehend it. That’s why such crazy building as crematorium was built. There’s something metaphysical in Death after all…

Lebbeus Woods phantasmagorias, Gehry’s weird volumes, Zaha’s cool streamlines… all these pioneering Western ideas can be seen in this bizarre little project in Kiev built in 1975. And even though building’s present shape is a disaster a genius of an architect is there. Forever.

So enough typing… Let’s see the building. It worth a thousand words of any description.

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This Awesome Urn Will Turn You into a Tree After You Die 

by Teodora Zareva | “Design for Good” Blog

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You don’t find many designers working in the funeral business thinking about more creative ways for you to leave this world (and maybe they should be). However, Spanish designer Martin Azua has combined the romantic notion of life after death with an eco solution to the dirty business of the actual, you know, transition.

His Bios Urn is a biodegradable urn made from coconut shell, compacted peat and cellulose and inside it contains the seed of a tree. Once your remains have been placed into the urn, it can be planted and then the seed germinates and begins to grow. You even have the choice to pick the type of plant you would like to become, depending on what kind of planting space you prefer.

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I, personally, would much rather leave behind a tree than a tombstone.

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As a PostScript I’d like to quote some of the comments that was left on Teodora’s blog…

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“In less enlightened times, the best way to impress women was to own a hot car.

But women wised up and realized it was better to buy their own hot cars

so they wouldn’t have to ride around with jerks.”

Scott Adams

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Cool luxury cars are a banal stereotype usually associated with the rich people. “Rich-people-driving-luxury-cars” stereotype is in its turn quite often (and unfortunately mistakenly) affiliated with the architects.  Following such primitive logic an average architect “naturally” must look like that:

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Not enough?… you can add this… What the hell, chicks dig cars and architects… we know that!

Anyway… why all of a sudden I talk about the cars? I hate cars; I don’t understand anything about the technical parameters of the automobile. Well… maybe these personal episodes can provide some explanation for my weird escapade…

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TODAY: Ugly reality

First episode, which is chronologically the last one, has happened this morning… That’s what probably has triggered my emotions.

Every month I receive an architectural magazine from my professional organization. It’s a poor edition printed on the average quality paper with month-old news and tons of silly ads. This worthless publication (available by the way online for free) is the only reminder of my professional organization’s existence. At least I know how those thousands of dollars of my membership fees are spent…

In the last half a year or so my architectural journal arrives with another magazine in the package. That second magazine has nothing to do with the architecture. It’s called “Autovision” and it’s about… you got it right… CARS! Now, as my professional magazine gets thinner and poorer “Autovision” thrives. It’s printing quality gets better with every issue (glossy paper, great color prints) and the content becomes more interesting than ever (analytical articles, informative reviews, dramatic photos). And finally… the vehicles advertised and described inside are getting really luxury. Two first pages of today’s issue feature “the all-new Audi A8” and “the new Land Rover LR4”… Pretty cool, huh?

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As a main centerfold “Autovision” features “The all-new BMW6 Series Cabriolet”. (Price is not shown)

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Put it briefly by now “Autovision” is way more appealing content-rich magazine than its ugly architectural “old brother”. Apparently “Autovision” issuers think of the architects as a “target market”. Probably they got a deal with our architectural organization that allows them to attach their magazine as an “additional materials” to the main piece, i.e. to our pathetic professional journal… And definitely they believe that architects can afford to drive all those fancy cars. Funny isn’t it?

I don’t think there’s much to comment here… unless of course you know many architects riding the all new BMW 6 Series Cabriolet which is “designed for driving”… DESIGNED!

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10 YEARS AGO: Romantic 90-s

When I was a student I had a rich girlfriend. Of course first I had no idea she was rich. I met her at the architectural class. She had a great smile, curly hair, great sense of humor and a knockout body… What else do you need?!

On our first date we just walked up to the students’ pub, got drunk and made love all night long. No cars were involved. The second date she planned to be more “official”. Her dad (here comes the daddy) got her tickets for the modern ballet show and she invited me. The theater was far from the campus. Obviously we had to drive there, obviously I had no car, and no need to mention that I had no money for a long taxi ride either. I shared my fears with her. My new beautiful curly girlfriend told me not to worry: she’s got a car and she will come to pick me up around 7 from my dorm…

I assumed she has some flivver and relaxed. At 7 o’clock she showed up in a brand-new red convertible. No kidding! Red! Some fancy model of Mitsubishi. I was floored.

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I told you I don’t understand in cars… So I think she was driving something like this: Mitsubishi GT 3000 1995 – I found it on the web…

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As we were driving she told me that she comes from a very wealthy family and that’s why she has a car, the tickets to the preem and many other things I could never imagine. For example she lives in her own penthouse where we will go after the show… I really liked her; she was cool, curly and unpretentious… Although I must say I was a bit scared. I’ve never dated a millionaire’s daughter before… The drive went smooth and I started to enjoy the effect of the warm wind coming into my face. Remember it was a convertible!? My shock was over and I said dreamily: “What a great car! Once I finish my studies I might buy something like that… Hell, why not, I’m gonna be an architect not some kind of a boring techie…”

She looked at me.

“Albert, my dad’s a boring engineer who owns a large construction firm and makes tons of money. He’s is a brilliant businessmen. And he keeps telling me that a car like this one will never come from the “sketching buildings on the paper”. He keeps saying me that I should drop my illusions about the architect’s lifestyle…”

Great advice… I’ve never dropped the illusions though. I haven’t listened to the “rich dad”. And probably that’s why I never got a convertible.

My former girlfriend is a shrink in NY City today (Thank you, Facebook)… She still looks fantastic and I bet you she drives a convertible.

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3 YEARS AGO: Before the “Lehman”

 3 years ago, when words “crisis” and “financial” had nothing to do with each other, I had a number of business meetings in Ukraine, in one of the country’s major cities with the population over a million people.

I think that was my third meeting with a very solid potential client – an industrial group owning a huge lot for the future building development. CEO of the group was running late so I was waiting for him in the reception area. I had my presentation ready and was confident that things will go smoothly. Who would know that few weeks later that stupid “Lehman Brothers” will collapse? Not having such a  knowledge I’ve peacefully chatted with CEO’s personal assistant. She was a  stylish young lady with a Bachelor Degree in economics. We discussed a gorgeous weather, terrible traffic, European soccer (Ukrainians are crazy about the soccer) and other “serious” issues.

Once we mentioned the traffic she naturally asked me what car do I have back home. I answered that I lease BMW X3. And let me assure you: it’s a very very high-standard car for a Canadian architect. But she was clearly disappointed… There was an awkward pause and then she understandably smiled and said:

Oh… I get it!  This is your recreational car. I meant what’s your business car, the one your chauffeur drives…

She was dead serious… I swear! She had no doubt that personal chauffeur is a norm for a Western architect.

You wanna know what I answered? Well, I didn’t lie about my fleet of Rolls Royce’s I just told her that little story about my rich girlfriend…

So much for the personal chauffeur and the luxury cars… Next time I should write about private jets and yachts…

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Therefore the moment I saw the following article from my online friend and colleague Jeremiah Russell I was happy… Nothing makes an author more happy than a perfect understanding of his quirky ideas by the intelligent readers*. Thank you, Jeremiah.

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This is what we do?

by Jeremiah Russel | Twitter @ronestudioarch

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Item #10 of my buddy’s latest blog post over at ArchiAlternative is the statement that architecture is what architects do.  He suggests this statement as an outright lie perpetrated by architects to their clients.  His retort to this bold faced lie, as he puts it, is:

Fuck, no! This is what we live and die for. This is architecture.

And I completely agree!  Please forgive the vulgar expletive, but honestly, sometimes, the F Bomb needs to be dropped for that little bit of extra emphasis, don’t you think?

And what is the key tenet to this statement?  The notion that an architect simply “does” architecture?  As a pure means to an end?  Or just in order to provide for his/her family?  I say bollocks to that.  Architecture is not merely what we do it is who we are, it’s our DNA, it’s our mitzvah (divine commandment for those not in the know), our calling….architecture just IS for an architect.  Some of us even say we are married to architecture and our wives are simply our mistresses.  This is more true than many of us may want to admit (let’s hope my wife doesn’t read this one).

And what do we get for this obsession, this calling, this mitzvah?  We get 5+ years of schooling where we learn almost nothing that will prepare us for the actual practice of architecture, 3+ years of internship under architects it will take us 15 minutes to figure out we don’t want to turn out like, and 5 years (or less if we’re very very lucky) to complete an ever changing battery of tests that tells very little about an architects’ competency as a designer or construction professional.  In short, we spend what are arguably the best 15 years of our lives struggling in a profession that has almost no respect for the “up and coming” in order to continue in a profession that our clients think is little more than a necessary evil, and we’ll continue to practice at a fraction of our ultimate worth simply because when we wake up in the morning with that shit eating grin on our faces, we know that there isn’t a single other thing on this planet we would want to be doing with our lives and it’s our privileged to practice each and every day sometimes at the expense of our own sanity and better judgment.

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image courtesy of treehugger.com

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To reiterate, once again:

This is what we live and die for – this is ARCHITECTURE.  Yeah baby.

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* By the way readers of the site’s Russian version didn’t get my irony for some reason. I was so surprised. My Russian readers never lacked a sense of humor. But this time they just killed me in their angry comments. They took my clownishness too literally. Hopefully once I translate Jeremiah’s essay they’ll show some mercy.

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TOP 10 LIES ARCHITECTS TELL THEIR CLIENTS

“Oh, what lies there are in kisses.” | Heinrich Heine

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1.        “It will be a beautiful project”

The most banal, the most common, the most sincere lie. It will be beautiful in your dreams. Between your “beautiful” and client’s “project” there is one spacebar and few factors. Project’s budget (always a problem!), builder’s willingness to comprehend your vision (never happens, though – builders are an ultimate evil) and your talent (yeah… you’d never question that one… nevertheless…)

Besides if this claim of yours is true we should be surrounded by “beautiful projects’ only. Does it make any sense?

2.        “Sure we’ve done it before”

Of course we all have similar projects in our portfolio. But we perfectly know that every fucking detail, every bloody nuance is unique in architecture. That there are no two identical hotels, houses or office towers. We’ve never done it before; our profession is a constant experiment and an endless creative research. But go and try to explain it to the client… Good luck!

3.        “We can work with any budget”

Here we are just too shy to complete the sentence to the Client. The full version is …“We can work with any budget… as long as it’s at least 10 times higher than your initial estimations…” Otherwise no budget will answer our great vision. A broader form of the lie would be “We can work under any circumstances”. But eventually it always comes down to money (we call it “funds” in our politically correct world). So there’s no need to generalize. Don’t be afraid, be more specific using that tricky word “budget”.

4.        “Don’t worry about it”

A universal lie. If I would be a Client I’d start to worry immediately after this kind of assurance.

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5.        “Our consultants can resolve any issue”

Well… yeah… maybe. Although there is a little controversy here and Topic 3. Any budget, any issues… You have mentioned word “any” for the second time… In my view mentioning it even once is an unproductive BS.

6.        “Our meetings with your marketing team are very productive”

Liar. Liar. Liar. Marketing people are diabolic creatures and your meetings with them remind you of Hieronymus Bosch paintings. Word “Hell” is not powerful enough to describe those meetings…

But!… there’s always a “but”… But at least that sales manager is such a hot chic (cute guy…) and I got her (his) cell number now…

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7.        “For us client’s interests come first”

Another sincere lie. Our ego comes first. We are all-knowing architects. We are the ultimate Creators. And this guy… he’s just happened to be around with the money (sorry –“funds”!) to make our Grande Vision and his pathetic dreams to come true. You might think that you don’t think like that, but you do. It’s natural to architects, because we are ultimate Creators after all…

8.        “This is the best project we’ve ever designed”

Another modification is: “The most interesting building we have ever worked on”. In ideal world – yes. In reality it seems to you that every project is more complex and more problematic and more chaotic than the previous ones… Deep inside you’re always bitching about the present situation and drag the memories from the times “when things were different”. It’s perfectly fine. Human nature is dual. So I’d call it an organic lie.

9.        “We love our clients.”

Big fat lie. Nevertheless every architect repeats it. Especially on the public ceremonies. We love our clients’ money. Sorry for being too materialistic, but how can you love the guy that stands between you and your dream with their miserable practical considerations? But you know what…let’s assume it’s possible. But how can you love the guy whose wife is telling you about her artistic preferences based on the wallpaper color of her living room. And you know that her “preferences” are direct instructions for you, her preferences are military orders “set in stone” for you. You hate her, her preferences, color of her freaking wallpaper and color of her manicure. Your hate is deep and just. So much for “we love our clients”… It violates the principle: “My client’s wife is my real client…”

10.     “This is what we do.”

Putting extra-hours, working for the miserable fees, arguing with the marketing witches and the “artistic spouse”, fighting with the lousy contractors and trying to explain your concept to the stubborn structural engineers, knowing that your deadline is unrealistic yet to keep it, knowing that they (evil forces) will never build it the way you design, knowing that the chances to materialize all the beauty and passion of your ideas are close to zero… This is what we do?

Fuck, no! This is what we live and die for. This is architecture.

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Beware of the young doctor and the old barber. | Benjamin Franklin

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Gerontocracy

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Biological age is an ultimate factor defining human existence. Young person is a curious creature. Energetic, active, daring. Young human-being generates revolutionary ideas, seeks for real answers, discovers amazing possibilities, opens new horizons. Such person is a fighter, who doubts antique axioms about “flat Earth”; he is a discoverer exploring the world by conquering the impossible and bending the rules.

Old person is different. Yes, there is wisdom, mental maturity and understanding of life. Old person carefully guides the next generation ensuring that the “revolutionary force” of young rebels goes into the right direction. Yet old person can’t lead the process. Old person is a steering wheel while youth is an engine. And that’s the law of nature. The way of life.

In the last half a century the very definition of age has been changed. “Young” doesn’t mean a teenager or a 20+ years old only. 30-40 even 50 years old people are considered relatively young by the modern society. The same shift has occurred in the “old age” group. Today so called “senior citizenship” starts probably at the age of 70…

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Since our existence is objectively defined by our age the same thing is true for our professional activities. After all such activities and the knowledge related to the profession are the main part of human’s life. In other words, as long as we don’t have AI robots working instead of us, any professional sphere or industry is objectively defined by the AGE of the humans shaping and leading the industry.

So welcome to the brave young world of the professional architecture. The figures currently shaping the architectural industry are:

• The most powerful: Foster (76 yrs old) – “Fosters & Partners”
• The most artistic:  Gehry (82 yrs old) – “Gehry partners, LLP”
• The most stylish: Ando (69 yrs old) – “Tadao Ando Architect & Associates”
• The most intellectual: Koolhas (67 yrs old) – “OMA” (The Office for Metropolitan Architecture)
• The most inventive: Nouvel (65 yrs old) – “Ateliers Jean Nouvel”
• And eventually the coolest and the youngest girl in town: Zaha  (60 yrs old) – “Zaha Hadid Architects”

Average Age: 70 (remove from the list the young lady and the average goes to 72…)

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These top-architects (to whom I pay enormous respect) have reached the peak of their careers being on the average 70+ (sic!) years old. The main bulk of their works has been built in the last 10-15 years. Meaning their real career has started when they were 60+ years old. So Zaha is really a “kid” by the architectural industry standards. I’m talking here about the most successful architects in the world. Isn’t it tragic?

Meanwhile this kind of “ageism” is typical for the entire industry. Not only for the upper echelon of grand-masters, but for every level. Architecture is an absolute gerontocracy. Isn’t it pathetic?

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The one might wonder why architectural industry is so conservative, why it’s functioning by the antique set of rules, why is it governed by the obsolete authoritarian organizations. The one might also ask why it’s so different from the other industries, such as high-tech for example. Well… let’s see then who defines the high-tech – the most revolutionary, the most energetic, the most important and the most fucking lucrative industry on Earth:

• Facebook: Mark Zuckerberg (26 yrs old). Founded Facebook when he was 20 yrs old. Became a billionaire when he was 24 yrs old
• Google: Sergei Brin (37) and Larry Page (37). Started Google when they were 22 yrs old. First billion roughly by age of 28…
• Twitter: Evan Williams (38) Founded Twitter by age of 33. Actually he became rich by age of 30. He was a founder of “Blogger” in his twenties… (Can you imagine?)
• Groupon: Andrew Mason (29) Founded Groupon by age of 25. Recently made his first billion
• Napster (first torrent service – yes first free downloads of music and movies): Shawn Fanning founded it when he was 19! It became super-popular overnight.

I can go on and on. I don’t even bother to calculate the average age. (Another classical example would be Bill Gates. He founded Microsoft when he was 20 years old. He stepped down as CEO in the age of 45 dedicating his life to the philanthropy. 45 years old!)

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Age of the industry leaders is the main reason for few more nuances!

Look at the names of the high-tech companies and the architectural firms? Feel the difference? Feel where the past is and where is the future?

You think “name” is not that important? Fine, look at the money then. Dare to compare?

The most dominant architectural office on the planet “Fosters & partners” in its 2007 deal with the Private Equity Group “3i” was valued at $ 593 mil (today in after-crisis realities it’s probably twice less). Norman Foster was 72 years old in 2007. Facebook’s recent market value is 50 billion dollars. Mark Zuckerberg is 26 yrs old. Do you want to know what Google market value is?!

Can you see now why they are more dynamic, more interesting, more fucking lucrative? You can’t trick the nature. You don’t have an appetite for exploring new things when you are in your eighties.  If the peak of the professional career comes when people are biologically old and physically tired, such profession is doomed. You know… people define the profession. And people die. And I am sorry but old folks die more often than young people. It’s a nature.

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P.S. Do not take my radical conclusions directly. It’s a mere generalization. I wish to all mentioned people (be that 30 years old computer geeks or 70 years old architects) long and happy lives. It’s not their fault that things gone this way. All I want is to understand why things are in such a poor shape for the architecture. I wish it could be different. I wish one of my favorite architects genius Frank Gehry would get a chance to build his dreams in the age of Mark Zuckerberg…

P.P.S. This essay is not written by a 20 years old student. I wish… So you can’t say it’s a comical revolt of the silly kid. It’s not. It’s a material for thought.

In his recent interview to WSJ Frank Gehry said: “I can’t retire. I’m 82. It’s too young.” Yeah… right… 

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I was always skeptical about the abstract generic definitions. In politics such definitions are called political systems or movements. In art it’s called “style”. But linguistically it’s the “SSDD”. As a rule, those sophisticated definitions are ending on suffix “-ism”. English “-ism” derives from Latin –“-ismus” which comes from Greek words ending in -ισμός (-ismos).

Feudalism, fascism, capitalism, socialism, communism, impressionism, modernism, cubism, suprematism, surrealism, minimalism… We all know the schpeel. As time goes by we run out of cool Latin/Greek terms and we start to use fancy prefixes. That’s how we get neo-conservatism, post-modernism, de-constructivism… We don’t stop here though. Once the antique grammar reserves are emptied we invent “movements”, “schools” and “styles” by gluing “ism” to any word. As a result we get such weird “animals” as machismo, ableism (the synonym in Google is word “able-bodyism”, no kidding!), brutalism, libertarianism (try to pronounce it… or to spell it correctly without computerized spell-check)… As you can see there’s no limit to our idiotism.

Architecture is an art (is it?) completely based on those pseudo-intellectual “-isms”. The entire history of architecture is chronologically divided and precisely categorized by those “styles”.

The other question is who’s organized things in such order? Who has attached ridiculous labels to the billions of the unique projects? Who are those Gods branding the Universe of the architecture from antique Greece (classicism) till modern Japan (minimalism)? “The Gods” are usually all-knowing critics, people who write about architecture, people who for some reason believe that they present public opinion. Such belief is based on the critics’ supposedly deep historical knowledge… Typically the knowledge means they are able to attribute those artificial “-ism” definitions to any original structure. Funny isn’t it? Yet that’s how it works these days.

So I have decided to help you, architects. Stick to the “–ism” before you design the project. Use Latin words, rather than intellect. Make sure you have trendy name first. There’s no need to worry about the clever design and the devil which is stuck in the details. Just mix few universal ingredients and you will be proclaimed the great cook… oops… sorry architect of neo-modernism in the era of post-capitalism. Here are some recipes .

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Constructivism

Create some twisted skeleton for a weird tower structure with a spiral element a-la Escher. Make sure it’s not falling apart immediately. The rest is irrelevant: envelope doesn’t exist; function is not important. Replace all specifics with a lot of abstract enthusiasm and expressive graphics. Red color? Yes, a lot. Cyrillic letters? Absolutely. Borrow it from some old communist posters. Mention Bauhaus & Russian revolution. You are all set. Don’t overdo it, constructivism is pretty close to communism…

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De-constructivism

First of all do not dare to build. Your project must remain on paper. There’s no need in design development, not to mention the working drawings. See? Easy. You have to create few pictures with the millions of chaotic lines, abstract shapes and weird marks. Preferably the lines to be painted diagonally. So you can feel the “dynamics”, the “movement”, the “energy of destruction”. Good idea would be to scan your masterpiece and to use all possible effects and filters from Photoshop or any other software. It will make your statement more radical. After that write an essay illustrated with your images. Provide a mysterious title for each of the drawings. Something like: “Composition 5” or “Psychedelic impression”. Mention in your piece Jacques Derrida; emphasize personal sentiment for socialism, pacifism & social activism. Don’t worry about too many –isms. It works.

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Minimalism

Don’t bother about the architectonics, massing studies or finishes selection. The simplest concrete box is the only thing you want. The simplest! No finishes whatsoever. An exposed concrete is more than enough. The same goes for the interiors. If they (those stupid habitants) don’t like it – spray white color everywhere. Remember – white only! Add few narrow accidental openings in the envelope. Frameless. (Yes it’s expensive, but don’t worry about the budget.) And that’s basically it. When the photographs are taken place a single white (white!) chair in the middle of the depressing concrete space as a final touch. If your company’s name sounds like Japanese (it’s very-very important) you are the real master of minimalism. If you are too far from Japanese spirit pretend being Scandinavian. It helps.

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Brutalism

Actually it’s almost the same as minimalism. Minimalism becomes brutalism when your concrete box has a huge size. Otherwise it’s even easier. Don’t worry about the white. (Exposed concrete everywhere – fuck it!). Don’t worry about the tricky location of the openings (Do monotonous rows along the front façade and no openings at the back – that’s it). Don’t worry about that lonely chair during the photo-session. And don’t worry about the Japanese name. English, Russian, Spanish, German – practically anything will do (not so sure about  the Italian though)

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Modernism

The easiest one. Do nothing creative. Nothing. Literally. Keep saying: less is more. Use black and white palette. Tell that rationalism guides the concept, thus you don’t have to worry about the coordination between the architectural design and the shop drawings from the manufacturers. Actually let the manufacturers to do the architectural design. Don’t waste your time. The client will be happy. But make sure that you drive the process in terms of the PR. Otherwise  the client might realize that all he needs is a structural engineer, a builder and the windows manufacturer. In order to avoid this situation open some aluminum windows plant and hire yourself as a subcontractor. Money and fame at the same time. Not bad.

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Post-modernism

That’s the tricky one. You have to convince everyone that your lack of talent and taste is actually a conscious intellectual parody that creatively reworks the irrelevant conceptualism of the obsolete classic canons. Holy smoke! Let me re-read what I ‘ve written here… Let’s put it simple. Pick some ugly ceramic finishes for the building with the fake Disneyland look. Don’t worry about the proportions, scale or visual adequacy. The uglier – the better. Use fake colorful materials, make giant entrance element and erect disproportional statues of some animals on top of the building. Write a book. Be sarcastic. Remember your total lack of artistic talent is a huge advantage. Use it.

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Classicism

This one is a different game. You have to be solid, conservative, boring. You have to wear a tie & a top-hat. No jeans. No iPad or Sony laptop either. Dark leather folders only. You have to produce a bunch of extraneous details and to explain to your client that in accordance with the classical orders the use of Corinthian colonnade wrapping around the entire building is a minimum requirement. That client must accept that the crepidoma without the stilobate is worthless, not to mention the utter importance of the diaxial symmetry between the opisthodomos & the pronaos. As an opposite of brutalism Italian name comes handy here… British accent helps enormously. But the best thing would be to hang out with Prince Charles. On the other hand… if you hang out with Prince Charles why on Earth you need to waste your time on Architecture?

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Professionalism

Oh, common this is so obsolete. A totally worthless element nowadays. If you follow my tips you don’t need it. You can lose 20 pounds in 3 days; you can make a million dollars within a week , you can become a famous artist with no effort.  Yes, you can. Everything is possible in our world full of cynicism…

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Just few days ago I have posted a very cool TED session about architecture coming from the legendary musician, a frontman of “Talking Heads” David Byrne. And today “accidentally” another great piece has been presented to the world. Paradoxically, this time it’s a music coming from the legendary architect…

Of course you know that famous line from Goethe: “I call architecture frozen music.” Well… I think, the German genius would rephrase his line after seeing this project. This is not frozen, ladies & gentlemen. This is a fantastic aria of architectural diva. So enjoy listening.

New Guangzhou Opera from Zaha.

…and for some reason I have no doubt that David Byrne would be happy to perform here.

Bravo, Zaha!

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P.S. Here’s some additional project info, I didn’t have at the time of the initial publication.

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Project area: 70 000 square meters

Client: Guangzhou Municipal Government

Architect: Zaha Hadid , Zaha Hadid Architects

Project director: Woody K.T. Yao, Patrik Schumacher

Project leader: Simon Yu

Local design institute: Guangzhou Pearl River Foreign Investment Architectural Designing Institute (Guangzhou, China)

Structural engineers: SHTK (Shanghai, China); Guangzhou Pearl River Foreign Investment Architectural Designing Institute

Facade engineering: KGE Engineering (Zhuhai, China)

Acoustic consultants: Marshall Day Acoustics (Melbourne, Australia)

Theatre consultant: ENFI (Beijing, China)

Lighting design consultant: Beijing Light & View (Beijing, China)

Project management: Guangzhou Municipal Construction Group Co. Ltd. (Guangzhou, China)

Construction management: Guangzhou Construction Engineering Supervision Co. Ltd. (Guangzhou, China)

Principal contractor: China Construction Third Engineering Bureau Co. Ltd. (Guangdong, China)

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In fact, this unique project of the highest complexity has been entirely developed and built by the Chinese teams.

Given the level of the structural engineering, façade detailing and interior finishes quality (based on the photos of course) my BRAVO exclamation should be first of all addressed to the Chinese specialists.

I’ll build a house- of paper
Covered with words I can read

“Lighthouse” by David Byrne

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David Byrne: How architecture helped music evolve

In my essays I like to create quirky analogies between the architecture and other totally unrelated fields. I have compared architecture to rock-n-roll, Middle East politics and even stock trading. Sometimes in such unexpected parallels an unexpected truth might be found…

It’s getting even more interesting and twisted once such a comparison comes from a person with completely different background. Especially if this person is a legendary musician, a flamboyant rock star David Byrne.

When I was a kid “Talking Heads” and their extravagant frontman were my rock idols. “Psycho Killer”, “Burning down the House”, “Like Humans Do”, “Once in a lifetime”… I don’t think you can forget this. Now as a grown-up professional I have enjoyed Mr. Byrne’s speech just as much as I enjoy his music. It’s funky, cool, smart, informative. Tremendous sense of humor. Solid educational background. Original ideas. And music, music in every word, music above everything… But, hey, what else would you expect. It’s David Byrne…

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♦ ♦ ♦

P.S. Don’t watch TV. Ignore those stupid shows please. Spend next 16 minutes listening to David Byrne’s speech on TED. The guy is talking about music and architecture. And the guy knows what he’s talking about. And once you’re done listening and feel yourself smart, enjoy his music. Still cool and relevant. And so freakishly different. No doubt about that…

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Quid novi ex Africa? | What’s new from Africa ?

Aristotle

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I hate politics. Hate everything which is even slightly related to the politics. Nevertheless these days as all of us I am watching the Egyptian drama unfolding. Before that it was Tunisia…  As I watch those seemingly powerful regimes falling apart after decades of ruthless ruling as house of cards I wonder why? Since I hate politics, I am not interested in governmental policies, opposition movements or revolutionary tactics which have resulted in such grandiose state collapse. I take philosophical approach rather than analyzing ephemeral details of political activism; and being an architect I find some quite interesting analogies between the world order and the building design.

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Building

Any building structure consists of 3 basic elements. Of course I simplify things, but this is not about my beloved architecture but about hated politics.

• Foundation is the most important element; it is a basis of everything. Foundation supports all other components. There is no building without foundation, even though this is not the most visually dazzling and practically usable building part.
• Structure is next in the hierarchy of the building science. Main structural members are columns and beams. There are many other members including supporting walls for example, but let’s keep it simple. Structure is a skeleton of the building and that’s what matters.
• Building envelope defined by the walls and the roof is a third “pillar”. Obviously this is the most visually prominent building element.

In terms of the building science envelope is the least important part. It can be easily changed or re-done. Usually it is self-sustaining. It has no fundamental qualities, since it doesn’t support building loads. Envelope is not directly responsible for the structural safety and integrity of the building either. Nevertheless envelope forms the exterior and the interior of the structure. And in terms of the human interactions those are the key things. Interior is the environment where people actually live (house), work (office), rest (community centers), etc… Exterior means facades. Facades (or elevations as architects call it) give people an idea of how the building looks like from the outside.

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State

Now let’ take a look at the modern society.

Foundation of the modern society is a State, i.e. economico-political formation which defines a country. Physically State is represented by the Government. Government (even the most democratic) isn’t very visible for the regular citizens yet there will be no society without it. I personally despise State as an Absolute Evil. Yet I realize that today humans still cannot exist without a State Order. Otherwise we will eliminate ourselves in chaos. I am kinda realistic anarchist…

Elements forming a structural safety of the human society are security forces. Army, police (and other military/paramilitary services) protect society from the destruction just as structural members make sure that building is safe and sound. By the way security forces suppose to be under the government control just as foundation eventually takes all those building loads from the structural walls and columns.

Façade of the society provides a nice picture for the tourists. Impressive Egyptian pyramids, beautiful antique ruins in Greece… This is a wonderful tourist shot which is not always telling the true story of the society members. I am sure that oppressed Egyptians and unemployed Greeks know a little bit more about the real state of affairs in their house than the tourists enjoying the landmarks.

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Collapse

If the foundation is flawed the structure sooner or later will collapse. Once the structural flaws of the foundation will reach some critical level nothing can prevent the fall. At the certain point structural members (which can be in pretty good shape by themselves) might start shake and deform. Subsequently the beautiful newly re-painted façade with those fancy brand-new windows and elaborate decoration will fall down exposing the real atmosphere inside the house. The backstage behind the theatrical curtain. And it might be not as fresh as the new paint on the exterior walls. It might be smelly and dirty… You know what I mean.

If such a house collapses it will be no surprise for the professionals. Engineers, architects, technical specialists have probably warned the owners years before it happened. Foundation defects are not to be repaired easily. It takes a lot of work, a lot of time, a lot of money… and at the end nobody sees it. So to patch those cracks on the exterior walls and to cover the moisture under the fresh layer of paint is much easier and more appreciative by the visitors. You can’t do this forever, though. The cracks will come back as well as the dampness will resume because your foundation is bloody rotten. So you better stop fooling yourself and make sure you fix it before it’s getting late.

My allusions are obvious, aren’t they? One last detail. We all know that the modern world is driven by the economy. Political game is just a derivative of it. (Above I have defined “State” as an economico-political formation. Economy comes first!) So as US political system is watching the fall of the corrupted rotten regimes in Tunisia, Egypt and is arrogantly asking about who’s next… maybe it should take a good look into it’s own basement. It’s kind of smelly down there. Printing dollars for the failing banks and pretending that stock market is a real economy might be just like re-painting the façade… But for how long it can last before the game is over?

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P.S. By the way political term “fundamentalism” sounds very architecturally. Don’t you think so?

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“Quidquid discis, tibi discis.” (Whatever you learn, you learn it for yourself.)

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Raw ideas, formal attitude & Leopold Ritter von Sacher-Masoch.

I like my blog. I have no intentions to praise myself. That would be a childish bravado. It’s your call my readers. You are those who evaluate my blog, who decide how smart (or stupid), funny (or boring), creative (or plain) it is. Whether or not it worth your precious time at all.

Then what am I talking about? Let me explain. Writing a blog keeps me in perfect intellectual shape. I learn new things, read tons of books. I practically don’t watch TV. I like the fact that I have a blog. But most of all I like being able to organize a chaotic stream of my professional thoughts and to put it on paper (or rather on the monitor). I try to do it in style (you know all these Latin quotes, elegant illustrations, lame jokes…) and I share it with the public. So far I have enjoyed it enormously. Even when you trash and slash me. What a sadomasochistic pleasure. (By the way do you know that yesterday was 175 yrs since Leopold Ritter von Sacher-Masoch was born… speaking of “new things” and a lot of reading…) Anyway, jokes aside, I respect myself for running a blog. That’s why I like it and that’s why I have it. (Knowing that some folks hate my guts for the same reason makes it even more satisfying. I’ve already mentioned it in my S&M passage…)

So I was thinking about the form. Why I’m always trying to produce lengthy and neatly formulated essays. Not always it’s coming out great, not always I have time for that (I run blog in 2 languages!), not always I am inspired to do a full article. Oh yeah, you need an inspiration for this. This is not my commercial duty but an intellectual fun, a spiritual call. And since I am not using Lysergic Acid Diethylamide (reading people, reading!), since I don’t jumpstart myself chemically I can’t hallucinate creatively all the time. My only creative habit was smoking… I quit it 28 days ago and it ain’t helping either. (Albert, common stop bullshitting!) Well, here’s what I am trying to say. I want to pay more attention to the content itself while being less concerned about the form in which this content is presented.

It doesn’t mean that I will stop posting detailed articles about the important issues. Of course not, but it means that this is not the only form I can use to express myself. It also means that I don’t have to be always directly focused on the professional architecture. After all, our entire world is a great example of a major creation by a very powerful Architect.

Bottom line – I will allow myself to be much freer formally, i.e. along with the complete essays I’ll post some outrageous not so perfectly formulated thoughts or lucid dreams burried in my not so healthy mind. It’s gonna be brief, rough and funky. And it’s not gonna be “strictly architecture”. I believe that occasionally those fragmentary reflections, comments and bizarre visions might have some philosophical value. (Calm down, Albert, calm down…)

Every now and then I provide a comment on different websites or forums. At times it comes out so radiant, so eccentric that I find it published on the other sites. Apparently that comment touches on some worthy matters. So why not to publish it here, regardless of it’s unpolished linguistics and a raw shape. Verba volant, scripta manent (Spoken words fly away, written ones stay.) Maybe this rawness is a big deal.

So with your silent approval I’m going to be less formal. I promise: the creativeness, roughness & strangeness will stay. And if you hate it…. you can always elegantly trash me in your comments, you know I enjoy it…

Here is one of my emotional comments I’ve posted recently on a very heated professional discussion.

Architecture is above the abbreviations.

Thanks for reading my blog. You find it aggressive? Yes, it’s not a syrupy romance about some pink flowers.

Have you seen “AIA” or any other abbreviation on my blog? In my 40 or so posts I’ve never put a particular organization as a central topic. Never. Please if you criticize me – be precise & objective. I don’t care about AIA, OAA, RIBA or any other specific structures. I’m above it. Architecture is above it. These organizations might be helpful for the profession at the very beginning (100 years ago) & destructive for the profession at the end (which is now)… but it doesn’t matter. They will die, yet architecture will stay. I discuss philosophical & intellectual issues here, not administrative problems of some temporary bodies. I think in different categories: chaos, anarchy, freedom, hate, love. Not a “short-term profit making” or “structural reforms” in some idiotic institutions. I am talking abstract not specifics. And that’s the purpose of my blog.

Of course I support my vision & my ideas with authentic samples, real names, true events. I don’t live on Mars. But I don’t care about architects’ institutional status or ridiculous abbreviations.

Here’s an example. To me “A State” (or “A Government” if you wish) is the highest Evil. Yet I realize that we cannot exist without a mechanism of State. (People are not ready for that.) It means that even though I comply with all the laws, pay taxes, behave as an exemplary citizen – I will never be a part of the political system and I will never run for any governmental office. It goes against my principles. I am ready to work for the governmental organizations as a private entity, I will gladly design a school, a community center, a governmental office building, but I’ll do it as a professional who serves the client – not as part of the state department. I hope you understand me & if you read my blog try to relate to its content more philosophically.

Forget about the American Institute of Architects, Royal Institute of British Architects or any other association with the loud name. It’s all temporary, relative, passing. While Life is infinite. And when we all have our heart attack HE won’t ask us about the membership fees or the abbreviations behind our names. Don’t you think so?

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How much architects from all over the world actually make…

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Recently I’ve noticed a traffic increase on one of my polls about the architects’ financial status. In 3 days ~1000 people have voted on the poll. Nice start for a new year. So I decided to check where all the voters are coming from. I’m not obsessed with the amount of readers as some other bloggers. Of course more people read my essays happier I am, but to me my blog is not a commercial enterprise or some sophisticated business strategy. It’s a pure hobby which combines two of my favorite things: architecture & literature. I enjoy playing with writing in 2 languages & I have fun by presenting my ideas in the most radical, free & at times shocking way. Being satisfied emotionally traffic is a secondary topic to me. I check it rarely; my stats system is very basic. Yet with some difficulties I’ve found the source of the interest. It was a tiny publication on Archdaily.

Archdaily is a popular site dedicated to the architecture. I don’t read it because it’s not oriented towards deep analysis; it’s all about the quantity of the info rather than the quality. To read it for architectural professionals would be like for classic music composer to listen to Britney Spears or even better… can you imagine a Chef of some exquisite French restaurant having a dinner at McDonalds? Nevertheless it’s a widely popular site for general public.

In their publication they have asked architects about their salaries. That question has generated 180+ comments. People from all over the world provided their answers. Obviously it was done in a very chaotic way. Yet it is clear that everywhere architect’s pay is pretty low and people are highly dissatisfied with the financial rewards. So I thought of organizing that massive wave of replies. I thought of building a chart of architectural incomes based on those comments… Remember those numbers are coming from the personal answers. So this is not an ultimate true. However the trend is crystal clear… architects are underpaid. Underpaid big time.

Wow, I almost forgot about the issue that brought me to that. How come that all of the sudden people from Archdaily, that powerhouse, that architectural McDonalds have visited my small “homemade bakery” blog? Apparently few readers of Archdaily read my blog as well. In their comments they’ve posted a link to my poll which is related to the theme. That’s so nice. Thank you. Another surprise was to see that I have some enemies! My mystery “enemies” trashed those guys who posted links to my poll. One of the “enemies” pretended to be me! He posted some nonsense under my name & provided a link to my blog… Go figure! All that “fight” about me is a perfect illustration of the old rule “bad publicity is the best publicity”. Anyway I have no idea of who those “enemies” are & I wish them well. Being hated means a lot to me. It means I (or rather my position) is worth something. Something powerful enough to make some folks to hate me. You can’t be loved be everybody, unless you’re a spineless liar. I ‘ll leave it to politicians. I don’t care of being hated, as long as I’m not ignored. So thank you “enemies” for not being indifferent & for the publicity.

And now forget this weird episode from blogger’s life and enjoy the chart. I have sorted the info by the countries & continents. I have also included some original comments from the authors…Most powerful & painful are by the end… Read it. Very interesting stuff!

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(If your country is missing – don’t hesitate to drop a comment. I will proudly add it. Let’s make the list perfectly complete!)

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EUROPE (EURO PER HOUR)

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Bulgaria:  3 – 6  Euro per hour | Young architect (Somebody comments “This is a dream in Lithuania”)

Latvia:  7 – 12  Euro per hour | My boss earns 15 Euro per hour

Switzerland: ~30  Euro per hour | Young architect (“Some people with a foreign diploma would accept less, but they shouldn’t, really”)

Finland:  ~21  Euro per hour | Brutto. 6 yrs experience

Belgium:  10-18  Euro per hour | Brutto. 1-5 yrs experience

The solution in Belgium to get better paid, leave the profession or the country

Albania:  2 – 3  Euro per hour | 3-6 yrs experience

Austria:  22 – 29  Euro per hour | 7 yrs experience

Lithuania:  ~ 3.6  Euro per hour | Net pay. 2 yrs experience.

Serbia:  ~1.25  Euro per hour | A beginner. Paid in cash! (illegal)

No insurance, working every second Saturday. Monthly rent for flat € 120. Still alive!

Russia:  ~ 2.15 – 18  Euro per hour | There’s a huge difference between Moscow & the rest of the country.

Croatia:  ~ 6  Euro per hour

Monthly payment ~€ 900, average  price for 1 sq.m of new apartment is € 1800 (just for navigation!)

Bosnia & Herzegovina:  ~ 2.5  Euro per hour | Net pay. 2.5 yrs experience.

Ukraine:   1.25 – 4  Euro per hour | 1-6 yrs experience

Live with my mom, thanks God! no other opportunity I have here for now.

Slovenia: ~ 7  Euro per hour | Net pay. No paid vacation

Sweden:  ~ 21  Euro per hour | Brutto. 7 yrs experience.

Czech Republic:  ~6 Euro per hour | Brutto. 5 yrs experience

Portugal:  2-6 Euro per hour | 1-3 yrs experience. In Portugal young architects are treated like garbage…

France:  ~12 Euro per hour

Finland: ~15 Euro per hour | 2. 5 yrs experience.

Tax 24%  5 weeks holiday per year. Holy s***. And I thought I was a slave…

Germany:  8-12.5 Euro per hour | 3-7 yrs experience.

…thinking about becoming a dental technician or flautist…

Norway: 25-43 Euro per hour |  Brutto. 1- 10 yrs experience

Hungary: ~3 Euro per hour | Net pay. (If you have a job! But this is not typical.)

…I’ve just booked a one way ticket to Norway!

Norway: A beer costs 8 pounds here! That money’s gonna disappear…

Netherland:  ~11 Euro per hour |  Brutto. A beginner.

1800 €/month. Other professions – the same educational level standard pay is 2200+ €/month

Denmark:  25-30 Euro per hour |  Brutto. Beginners – 5 yrs. experience. Tax around 45%!!!

But you don’t pay for healthcare, education, etc. Notice that the cost of being alive is sky high in Denmark. The highest tax in the world, most expensive food in Europe, etc.

Poland:  3-6 Euro per hour |  Beginners – 5 yrs. experience.

There’s always a fool that will work for 2euro. Bloody true!

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England:   11.5 – 33  Euro per hour

33 | London. As an architect assistant at a large international firm. Is that ok in London?

22 | London. 5 yrs experience. Project Architect

11.5 | Newcastle. I consider myself lucky to even have a job in these times, I volunteered for 4 months before I found this job

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Italy: 4 – 8  Euro per hour

Free | First year after school. In Italy the young architect have a strong life.

4 – 5 |  Net pay. 1+ yrs experience

8 |  Net pay. 5 yrs experience. The Ukrainian cleaning woman was taking 10 Euro per hour to clean the studio… And this was 3 years ago

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Spain (Madrid):  ~9 Euro per hour |  5 yrs experience.

Annual € 19,000 brutto. (21% below the average Spanish salary for men. What a shame!)

On the other hand most of the young Spanish architects are unemployed. Living costs: rent € 490 per room in a shared flat

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Romania: 2.75 – 3  Euro per hour | 5 -7 yrs experience.

That makes ~€ 500 monthly – it’s exactly what my mortgage is; I’m married & I have a son (I’m lucky with my husband).

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Ireland: 5 – 10  Euro per hour | A beginner

When you factor in all the extra unpaid hours it probably drops it down below the minimum wage.

With near 50% unemployment for architects you have to take what you can get unfortunately.

Greece:  5-8 Euro per hour |  Net pay. 1 – 5 yrs. experience.

No health insurance. Waitresses get the same + health insurance.

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NORTH AMERICA (USD PER HOUR)

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US:

15.5 $ / h | starter ($ 30,000 per annum)

41 $ / h | 7-9 yrs experience ($ 80,000 per annum)

77 $ / h | 20 yrs experience ($ 150,000 per annum)

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Canada:

Free | students/new immigrants work 3-4 months for free

14 $ / h | starter ($ 30,000 per annum) Tax ~25%

25 $ / h | 5-7 yrs experience ($ 50,000 per annum) Tax ~ 35%

30-35 $ / h | 10+ yrs experience ($ 70K – 80K) Tax ~ 40%  No wonder a lot of people move to US.

For a lot of people it might look like a good money. But given the Canadian prices (cars, food, homes) this is on the level of being “very poor person”. Survival mode.

- ha, I wish! are you hiring?

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SOUTH AMERICA (USD PER HOUR)

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Argentina:  6-10 $ per hour |  Worked in London as a mason and carpenter for x5 higher salary

Chile: ~7.5 $ per hour

Bolivia:  2-3 $ per hour | If you find work. Good luck! Most prefer work in the illegal commerce

Brazil:  10-30 $ per hour | Depends on the State. Vacation?… Never

Ecuador :  ~6 $ per hour | Quito

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ASIA & AUSTRALIA/NEW ZEALAND (USD PER HOUR)

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Philippines: ~1 $ per hour | 2 hours site visit. 8 yrs experience.

China: ~7 $ per hour |  7 yrs experience

India: ~2 $ per hour |  3 yrs experience (renown studio in Mumbai)

S. Korea: ~12.5 $ per hour | 1.5 yrs experience (M. Arch.)

Jordan: ~5 $ per hour | Fresh graduate

Kazakhstan: ~4 – 10 $ per hour | Mostly doesn’t exceed $ 6 .

No health insurance as a rule. Flat rent is $ 500-1000 per month. Hard to survive, but I guess architect’s salary in Kazakhstan is highest in Central Asia.

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Indonesia:   1 – 15 $ per hour

1-3 | Beginners

5-15 | 10 yrs experience

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Iran:  1 – 25 $ per hour

Free |  First year after school

1.5 |  Young architects

up to 25 | Experienced architects

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Australia: ~18 – 90 $ per hour | …I’m still getting paid less than most of my friends.

New Zealand: ~13 – 30 $ per hour

13-15 |  Beginners

18 |  2-5 yrs experience

20-30 | 5 + yrs experience

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Unless you are Santiago Calatrava, you will be making nada’ with this handicap economy!! It’s a shame! It’s a shame I tell you how this career field is coming to a vanishing point with less of prestige and appreciation. I think i agree that Architects make less money regardless of their skill.”

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- Nice profession – terrible pay… Take it or leave”

- Nice hobby or obsession – terrible profession. Terrible pay.”

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My boss drives a Porsche – we come by bike.

That is really sad! In Holland working at McDonalds would pay better!!!

Oh god, why didn`t anyone tell me this 7 years ago?!

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IN PORTUGAL ARCHITECTS WORK FOR FREE!! As we are required to do an internship for the professional organization, this is unpaid. So the main architects take advantage of this fact, substituting employees architects who would have to pay, for interns for free! We do not need others to fool us. We do this to professional colleagues. Shame on us, architects…

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I look at these numbers, at your emotions and I am asking is this profession worth such pain? Just a question… Don’t rush to say out loudly “Hell, yeah…” Life is more complex than any emotional exclamation.

Depressing! It took me most of my study years to realize those “architecture…not recommended” sighs and comments from the older architects around me …

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Out of 175 comments there’s practically NOT a single positive reactions. Almost all comments are anonymous, incl. this one – mine. (Some links to a cool blog in the first few comments, that’s all…) Screw you architecture. You are dying anyway as a creative profession… It’s not about the pay only. After 15 yrs of hard work I’m about to leave you. Enough is enough.

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As we rapidly progress towards the promised bright future our justly balanced society of people has somehow lost some of the basic human values. This is not a shallow statement to start the article but my logical observation I will try to prove.

All existing things, be that physical objects or some elusive values are defined by words. You can’t trick or manipulate the language. It’s not TV news. Thus verbal development is a pretty true reflection of the public mental state; it is an excellent indicator of what is really going on with our hearts and minds as we defiantly march forward.

Language is a live organism. It grows, changes, adjusts itself to the reality. Some words are getting old and go out of our everyday vocabulary; it’s fine – these days we don’t use equipages, rapiers or justicoats very actively. Life goes on and fresh verbal expressions come to life. Nonetheless as new jargons emerge some definitions are destined to stay with us forever, as they construe the very core of our existence, the very essence of human nature. You can’t replace “love” with “sex” or “theater” with the “show”… Even if in real life it has happened long time ago.

Despite of this apparent notion some key words got obsolete even though they articulate the fundamental principles of our existence and “are destined to stay with us forever”. (So much for my theory.) Word “harmony” opens the list. I’d like to add two more: “fairness” and “nationality”. This verbal triad for a long time has described 3 pillars on which leans every civilization:

• spiritual (harmony),
• moral (fairness)
• social (nationality).

“Obsolete” doesn’t mean that the pillars have gone; after all we are still civilized. However the pillars definitions were slightly modified so nowadays “balance” is much more popular than “harmony“, while “fairness” and “nationality” were respectively substituted by “justice” and “people”…

“Harmony” hasn’t vanished completely; it’s just “naturally” got obsolete, as the “nature” of our society changed…

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Absolute

So I am asking why “harmony”? What are the reasons behind such linguistic adjustment? If it’s value is so universal why this graceful word is out of favor? Why critics, journalists would state how “well-balanced the solution is” rather than praising the harmony it projects? Why it sounds so naive and infantile? In order to figure it out I need more samples, I need to find what’s in common between the “old-fashioned” words defining imperishable matters.

“Harmony”, “fairness”, “nationality”. My rationalization might be a bit tricky, even irrational. But bear with me please.  All these words are not firm definitions at all. There is a strange duality in their nature: while they outline some elusive intangible order their ultimate meaning is very absolute. You don’t have any ambiguousness regarding the state defined as a “harmony”, but you can’t explain where such clear understanding is coming from. It is almost a religious sentiment. Let’s be more specific:  if the one suggests that a building creates sense of harmony – it means absolutely positive spiritual emotions, yet it doesn’t depict particular details responsible for causing such a wonderful effect.  The same thing for “fairness” or “nationality” – we know exactly what does it mean, but to describe it distinctively might be not an easy task.

The current substitutes of these exquisite words strangely work in a completely opposite direction. Instead of the intangible absolute we get a very diplomatic certain relativity.

• “Balance” is not intangible it is quite a certain item (ask accountants!) yet it is so relative (ask Wall Street traders!)
• “Justice” is a term unambiguously defined by thousands of perfectly-formulated laws, yet as we all know it is dependable on many factors including the amount of funds the one can dedicate for hiring the best lawyer in town…

I can continue but I think you’ve got the idea. Thus paradoxically the replacements we use for our “archaic” words are not slightly off but are absolutely missing the point. “Well balanced” doesn’t necessary means “harmony”; just as “just” is very often not so “fair”

The roots for such conflicting transformation in linguistics are social. As I said, society changes. For some reason modern society is based on the absurd taboo called political correctness. We are afraid of facing painful problems, we don’t call terrible creatures by their real names, and eventually we refuse to recognize that absolute true and absolute evil exist and there are things (plenty of them) that are NOT fucking relative!

Things, buildings, people, ideas, rules and objects that have no harmony in them whatsoever. Regardless of how we name them.

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Architecturally

Since I am an architecturally oriented clown it would be odd if I don’t mention architecture in my unreasonably sophisticated harmony analysis. Interestingly but out of all artistic disciplines architecture is the only one which is ultimately associated with the harmony. (Music might be another example, but since “harmony” is used by the professional musicians as a technical term we’ll put it aside).

Why architecture then? See, architecture is an act of art which is unavoidable. Human beings can physically exist without reading a single book in their pathetic lives, without ever being to a museum or a theatre, without listening to the music… And many people happily live this way, they never interact with any real art-event. (They’d be utterly surprised if they could hear me calling their lives pathetic, but hey – no worries, they don’t read blogs.)

With all due respect architecture is not exactly a painting exhibited in the museum or a symphony played in the music hall. Architecture is an integral part of the physical existence. It is relevant and objective for every living person. It’s inescapable, even omnipotent in some sense… And as such it must provide a serene spiritual impact on our lives; it must serve us as an ultimate source of peace of mind; it must be a perfect retreat from the outer world storms. So talking of our homes, offices, schools, hospitals – “balanced” might be not enough! It can work somehow for trendy shopping malls or hockey arenas but that’s not exactly where we spend our lives and raise our children.

“Balanced” is not enough. It’s too relative, too unstable. We can lie to the world replacing “fraud” with an “enterprise”, “war” with the “conflict” or “crap” – with the “distinctiveness” but for ourselves, for our homes, shelters and shrines we request an absolute tranquility and perfect aesthetics… We dream of a Harmony regardless of how obsolete and politically correct the place is…

P.S. This essay was written by me as a guest-blogger for English/Spanish blog “The Place of Dreams“. The Spanish translation is here >>.

I would like to thank Ana Manzo, my internet-friend, for publishing it on her great blog.

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